"I find it very difficult to understand why Ezzo has had such success when
so
much of what he says is wrong, and detrimental.  I am a mother , who
followed
my instincts, which for any who take Ezzo's class are discouraged from
following.  Today so many people have so much more education, and experience
that I did when my children were young, it is hard to believe they could
accept this bull."

Well, I think you've touched on some of the very reasons for Ezzo's
"success". People want to have "good" children, as you say, and often they
define good as being compliant, easy-to-manage children. Children that fit
in as least-disruptively as possible into the grown-ups' busy lives. (Not
what I want for my children, but I see that that's what those susceptible to
the Babywise teachings are going for.) Plus, what the Babywise "method"
seems to offer is something all new parents are desperate for - more sleep
for themselves, a baby that operates on a schedule so they can have some
semblance of their "normal" life. Isn't the idea of an "easy" baby, who
sleeps, eats, and wakes on a schedule that is convenient to you pretty
appealing? Sure beats those unpredictable outbursts and inexplicable
flailing about while the weary parent wants only to sleep, doesn't it? So
there's an appeal there to parents' very natural desire to not have their
lives totally blown into chaos by a baby.

And it seems to me that so many people who are becoming parents now have
indeed had a lot of "education and experience", as you say, but not a lot of
experience with babies/kids. I think, partly as a result of so much
education (in our culture at large, if not in a given individual), people
are accustomed to being instructed in how to do everything important. We
tend not to trust our instincts very well, especially with something as
important as a baby, so we look to "experts". And if you don't have much
experience with real babies, or if you don't feel very well "qualified" to
be a parent, it's easy to look to the "authority" or "method" that promises
"good" children with a minimum of confusion, chaos, and need for
instinct-following. You have a set of guidelines, you do what they tell you,
and out comes a well-behaved, healthy, compliant, well-ordered kid.

So we've substituted "learning" from a book, following rules and recipes for
raising children, I think partly because babies and little kids are pretty
much not on the screen of most people's daily lives. With smaller families
of the last couple of generations, there might not be a lot of babies &
little kids around when you're growing up, and with various outside-the-home
arrangements for work & child care it's easy to see how, as a child growing
up with siblings, you just might not see or be real involved in what's going
on with them when they're babies. Parents seeking to avoid the dread
"sibling rivalry" (a great modern concept!) try to keep the baby's multiple
needs and demands separate from the older child, and families in general are
just more isolated from one another. So most of us don't feel "qualified" to
take on this huge job on our own, and we're pretty much suckers for anyone
who comes along with a firm set if guidelines. ESPECIALLY if it is wrapped
in the language of our faith. (And I won't even go THERE...)

So there's my explanation for why so many people fall prey to this Ezzo
stuff. I can't blame the parents, they're just trying to do the best they
can, and they've just got hold of a faulty tool. And they are so weakened in
self-confidence that they are willing to buy into someone else's notions,
even if their own instincts tell them something else.

Cathy Bargar, RN< IBCLC Ithaca NY

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