Diane Dressler,

What a challenge for you and how frustrating for this family!.  It is hard to
comprehend what this family is going thru - imagine all these fdg methods,
 trying to recover from birth, adjusting to parenthood, pumping, worrying
about the baby , etc, etc.   (I had to cup/.finger feed and pump for a short
while with 2nd baby and it was almost too much for me).
I feel that one alternate method should be used at this point - whatever baby
seems to do best on.  If it is bottles for this baby, so be it.  I would
think that this family is at high risk of giving up.  Make it easy as
possible for them.  My LC friend swears by a certain nipple for bf babies -
email privately if you want to know.  Another company has a "wider, softer
silicone nipple" that is touted as anti-colic nipple that is supposed to
allow baby to go back to breast easily.  I don't necessarily believe this -
but maybe is better than "standard nipple".   If baby is gaining on whatever
fdg method, then that takes some pressure off family and at least they know
baby is OK.
Have they tried rebirthing technique - I am not expert - but it has been
discussed before on lactnet.  Also I have seen others discuss good results
after craniosacral therapy and other related techniques - lactnetters
experienced with this can comment.

Good luck to you and to this family,

Laurie Wheeler, rnc, mn, ibclc
violet louisiana