Thanks, Teresa...for your words of wisdom
We just had that discussion in our La Leche League group - and I was happy
to hear the author of "Playful Parenting", Lawrence Cohen, PhD, speak at
 the La Leche League International Conference - I felt as if I was again
hearing  Ross Campbell speak 'lo those many years ago - about the child's
"love tank".
Often when a child is behaving the least loveable is when they are most in
need of obvious and clear signs of love. (Children do not read easily into
our subtle actions - we need to be "blunt" with them!) My one son was a
very difficult toddler - biting, night waking, etc.  As long as I
remembered to "fill up his love tank" BEFORE the "zero hour" struck
(usually 4:00 pm), we would all have a better evening/night time.
 Unfortunately - I also had an older and a younger child...whose needs at
times were more immediate - but then I paid the price at night.
However, another point that was made was mom's needs to "rest up" if only
to deal with the night time problems.  I found that having a young girl
come and play with the 2 older kids while I rested in my (very nearby)
bedroom, gave me the "fill up" I needed to deal with the evenings.
Each mom finds what works best for her - and in the end, the mom and child
will work out what is right in that family - I'm always glad to hear moms
in my group give lots of different alternatives - this gives the mom who
asked the question lots of thoughts - but also gives her the freedom to
pick HER choice of "response" without feeling that she will be judged when
she comes to our next meeting.

Jeanette Panchula, BSW, RN, PHN, IBCLC
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