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Subject:
From:
Kathleen Bruce <[log in to unmask]>
Reply To:
Lactation Information and Discussion <[log in to unmask]>
Date:
Wed, 4 Oct 1995 13:38:06 -0400
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I should know better I know. I am an experienced LLL Leader and IBCLC. I
know HRE. Why then can't my brain remember it  those techniques sometimes?

A hard  lesson learned is what happened to me today....

A mother called me  today. SHe wanted help with weaning a 13 mo old. I
called her back, and what followed was a horrible misunderstanding  of a
conversation. She told me she wanted to wean. The baby didn't want to. Was
down to once a day, but was wanting to nurse all  the time now. Not going
back to work. Just wanted to wean becasuse she felt it was time. Baby had
given some signals before, but was not ready to wean  now. Had previously
weaned a child at that age,and thought it was "time."

I didn't ever get a clear picture of what she wanted.  I made the mistake of
not cueing into the weaning ? questions  and answering those directly. My
initial thought was "Why wean a 13 mo old."?

She definitely got the idea from me t hat she shouldn't have been
weaning...I as much said so. I said "Well, it's kind of early to wean."
Stupid ... It was very stsrange...she hung up on me. I thought, Oh boy, that
was strange, so I called her back, and apologized to her, and said Gee, we
have gotten off on the wrong footing..I was sorry, and was willing to assist
her.  Well, she started ranting and screaming...and hung up on me. I had
told her how sorry I was, and that I really wanted to  help if I could...and
that nursing for a year was really a long time in our culture.

The click on the other end of the pohone told me that she wasn't ready to
talk to me anymore.

I sat down, had a good cry...felt like a s&*t....then *BONK* it hit me when
I was talking to my friend that Sally, my 3 year old,  is weaning , and I
have been feeling rather sad about it.  I wasn't INTERESTED in helping
anyone wean. WHY would they want to, my brain thought.?

The problem is, I did what any newbie  would have been chastised about. I am
experienced  and I let my own stuff get in the way of meeting this mother
where she stood.   I didn't meet her where she was. I met her where I was,
cause I was stuck there. . She said " I cannot believe that a person in your
position could say that to a mother!!!"  Her voice was quivering with anger.
I can't believe I did it either.

Sigh.

Kathleen, who really has to face this weaning thing....
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Kathleen B. Bruce, BSN, IBCLC, LLL Leader (7 yrs),
Co-Owner Lactnet,  E-Mail = [log in to unmask]
LACTNET WWW site: http://www.mcs.com/~auerbach/lactation.html
"The better part of one's life consists in his friendships." Abraham
Lincoln, 1849.
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