I also, try my utmost to be hands off. I do believe that it is the best way to empower the mom (and partner) with the knowledge that SHE succeeded. But there are those occasions where time is of the essence.  When a mom comes in really on the brink of despair, she has to initially be shown (and pretty quickly) that she and more important, that the baby can latch and can bf successfully. It doesn't only depend on the moms pain threshold but on the mom's (or partners) ability to hear the baby "cry" as if he is starved and that she is starving him!! I find more and more lately the phenomenon of sacrificing breastfeeding because of a partner's lack of confindence in the Mom. She has no choice, unless she is really running the show, but to give in to him or her mother, or mother in law!!
So, as I said before, time is of the essence in these cases. and I do encourage the whole family to come in and hear what it is all about!

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