I realized in writing that last post that we all use feeding tubes and other tools differently, and that - as in most issues - there is no Right Way.

It hit me over Christmas that getting from A to B always involves a number of different little steps.  Even if A and B are the same for everyone (and they usually aren't), those intermediate steps are *weighted* differently for different people.  

I'm the only one who showers at home, ordinarily.  The showerhead was rusty and inadequate, at least according to my DH (who showers at the gym), my BIL (who visits every few months) and my children (who no longer live at home).  I hadn't noticed.  They installed a new showerhead for Christmas, and they all like it much better.  What do *I* notice?  The stream is more concentrated, and doesn't keep my shoulders as warm as the feeble but wider-spray old one did.  My comfort goal was overall shoulder warmth, theirs was a good strong stream.  

The new showerhead is much better *by all standard measures*.  But I just happened to rank one of the non-standard measures more highly.

I'm learning to like the new showerhead, but even more I'm delighted with the lesson it brought.  Every process is built from many steps, and most processes have slightly different endpoints.  The necessary steps, the desired steps, the most important steps are never the same for everyone, and we need to make sure we use the steps and reach the endpoint that fit the mother, not the steps and endpoint that make the most sense to us.  And we need to recognize the adjustment time that's needed if a mother changes her values.

Happy New Year!
Diane Wiessinger, MS, IBCLC  Ithaca, NY  USA
www.wiessinger.baka.com      

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