Rachel, I enjoyed your post.  I have been thinking lately, too.  For 10 
years I ran a busy private practice in Chicago and saw thousands of 
mothers and babies.  Sometimes when I was helping a mother in a thorny 
situation she would ask, "What happens if I do all this and 
breastfeeding still doesn't work?"  My answer was always something like, 
"Well, if it doesn't work, I'll be right here with you, so you won't go 
through it alone.  And at least you'll know you did everything you 
could."  That answer always seemed to reassure them and very few walked 
away from breastfeeding.

I've always found it interesting that many of the best in breastfeeding 
handle individual situations very differently.  But as the years go by, 
I've come to the conclusion that the details are less important than our 
willingness to truly be there for our mothers and the confidence we 
project in breastfeeding. Because breastfeeding is so deeply hardwired 
into mothers and babies, if we can just keep them going--no matter which 
approach we choose--eventually it will all come together.

In the monthly  mothers' group I lead now, a mom told a wonderful 
story.  She and her husband came to their first meeting when their baby 
was just a couple weeks old.  This was her husband's second family and 
he said he was happy to get up at night and feed the baby expressed milk 
so that his wife could sleep.  They said they tried keeping their baby 
close at night but it "just didn't work" for them.  Maybe four months 
later, this same mom said to the other mothers in the group that right 
around two months she had an epiphany.  Suddenly she stopped thinking 
about when her baby fed and where her baby slept.  For the first time 
she began to feel the intimacy of breastfeeding and it was life-changing 
for her.  She is now thinking about a career in lactation. 

Along with everything else it does, breastfeeding helps deepen the 
intimacy between mother and baby. For many, this may be the deepest 
intimacy they'll ever experience. (It was this experience that drew me 
and probably many of you into this work.)  Some mothers take this 
opportunity and run with it.  Others are uncomfortable with it and more 
focused on staying "in control."  But no matter what a mother's attitude 
when she goes into breastfeeding, just like the mother in my mothers' 
group, breastfeeding often wins her over.  To me that's the essence of 
our work--not to convince a mother intellectually--but to help her put 
the pieces in place so that breastfeeding will work its magic and open 
her heart to to her baby in a whole new way.

In this holiday season, please accept my thanks for bringing more love 
and peace to the families you serve.

Warmly,

Nancy Mohrbacher, IBCLC, FILCA, LLL
Lactation Consultant, Ameda Breastfeeding Products
In snowy Chicago, where with wind chill our temperature today is -15 F

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