> I recently heard nursing staff explain to a mother who had given birth to a
> low-birth-weight baby (small for dates) that her smoking during pregnancy
> was possibly a factor in her baby's size and resulting problems. Yes, it
> made the mother feel a bit guilty and uncomfortable and certainly it was too
> late for her to go back and do anything about it. Yet nobody seemed to
> hesitate to say anything to her.

You know, I think it is perfectly possible to say such things with
EMPATHY (i.e. without the person feeling totally *attacked*).  I have a
friend who is a recovering alcoholic with 3 kids.  She became an
alcoholic between the 1st and the 2nd one, and got sober at 5 months
gestation of the 2nd, who has FAS.  He is quite severely damaged by the
alcohol.  She carries a lot of guilt over that, but is glad she knows
she caused it in some way.  That gave her some of the stamina to avoid
alcohol when pregnant with her 3rd.  Ironically, all 3 kids were
breastfed (the oldest for 3 months, the one with FAS for about 8 months
or so and the last for a year), and she knew that bf the child with FAS
might do a lot to help him out.

Fio.

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