<<For women to be menaced by the threat of attack by law enforcement
simply because they are mothering in public is a massive civil rights
violation of our rights as human beings, and I'm always a bit gobsmacked
when people try to imply that "it's no big deal". >>
Just in case this was pointed at me, I would like to point out that I did
not say it was "no big deal."
What I did say was to look at one's own self, and see where the focus of the
energy originates. If the focus was on embarrassment and shame, focus the
energy on solving the problem.
Jumping up and down takes a lot of energy. Solving the problem is more
effective if one concentrates in the direction of the problem.
I was told to stop breastfeeding my 3rd child at (of all places) Whole Foods
Market, in Chicago, Illinois. The employee threatened me by getting the
manager, who was also going to stomp her feet in anguish. I had two choices.
I could choose to feel ashamed and embarrassed by what they demanded, or I
could choose to remain calm and focus on the direction of the problem. By
staying focused, I received an apology from the manager and the staff member
was redirected. Perhaps my solution didn't change the entire world, or
anywhere other than that particular WHM, but it was a solution for me and my
baby.
I was assaulted at work a few weeks ago. My employers were downright nasty
to me, refusing to allow me to file charges against the aggressor, refusing
to allow me to file a report. The person who hit me is mentally retarded,
and she quite possibly could have killed me. While not breastfeeding
related, I could have chosen to feel embarrassed and shamed. Instead, I
chose to focus my anger in an appropriate direction, file charges, and will
possibly be initiating a lawsuit. My goal for change in this facility is
that the rights of the employed will include calling the police, filing
charges and having the aggressor arrested, if that is what is required. At
this time, we have no rights, creating an unpleasant and unsafe situation.
As a matter of fact, by law, anyone is allowed to call the police, file a
report and press charges, but since this particular facility tells their
employees they can't, they have effectively removed our rights.
In neither circumstance did I say it was "no big deal." In both
circumstances, I chose to focus my attentions in a direction to create
change. Sometimes a quiet focused energy can generate an amazing
transformation, as in the case of Rosa Parks. Had her revolt been a large,
loud confrontation of angry signs and screaming, would her case have been
effective? Possibly, if the time was right. Instead of loud and screaming,
she simply held her right to sit in her seat. She was very effective. During
the boycotts that followed, for the next year (and longer) the
segregationists bombed the "black" churches and homes. What I take from that
era is that she was a peaceful person, in pursuit of her rights, despite the
anger flowing around her.
Not every circumstance requires screaming. If every circumstance caused
screaming, soon people would ignore all cries for help. Sometimes,
redirection and education are enough. Does everything have to be a fight?
I suspect that my intentions for a peaceful existence are either
misunderstood, or not being clearly presented. So, at this, I will bid this
topic adieu!
Best wishes,
Sam
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