In 1991, when I adopted Julia, at six months old, the commonly accepted wisdom on the topic, what there was of it, stated that it would be rare for a child over four months old to accept the breast.  My early experience trying to get Julia to accept the breast was a case that definitely would have appeared to support that, because she really resisted it.  I spent most of the first few months with her trying to convince myself that that wisdom that said she was too old was true and that I would have to accept it.  I had gotten her bottlefeeding well, and taking comfort from it, which was a huge improvement over her gastrostomy feeds and unpleasant bottle feeds where she gulped an ounce of vile tasting Pregestimil.  By the time I'd had her for three weeks, she was eating totally by mouth and had gone from just over nine pounds to eleven pounds.  She was catching up on her development quickly, and the antisocial behaviors were diminishing (I should say for those who are not familiar with my Julia story that she was born with a diaphragmatic hernia and was a severe case of FTT, and was nine pounds when I got her).  I was, overall, quite happy with the tremendous progress we had already made.  However, every time I nursed Thomas, who is 19 months older than Julia, and saw how miraculous it was for calming his extreme tantrums, and comforting the little bumps he occasionally got from climbing on everything in sight, I just couldn't help but think of how good it would be for Julia to have the same opportunity.  I decided to give it one last, all out try, taking it very slowly and carefully, and trying to vary the experience of feeding and suckling a little at a time.  She became a nursing baby (nursing with the Lact-Aid, although she was also getting some breast milk) the day before her first birthday.  The benefits for her, physically and emotionally, were definitely worth the time and patience. 

Since then, I have been in contact with many moms who have nursed children who were adopted during the second half of their first year, and also some, including Karleen's daughter, who were more than a year old.  The oldest I can think of was a little boy who was adopted at age five, from a Russian orphanage, where he'd had a pretty bleak existence.  His adoptive mother said that, although he acted more like an infant when he was actually nursing, his overall development and maturity level improved rapidly from the time he started nursing.  She said that he had started regular school, where he excelled at learning, and did very well socializing with the other children, both of which are generally a challenge for children who have been institutionalized.

It often takes different tactics to get an older child to accept the breast than for a baby who is still bottlefeeding.  For a child who is still bottlefeeding quite a bit, I am not sure it really matters whether they are a few months under, or a few months over, a year old.  Age is a factor is determining the likelihood of a child accepting the breast, but it is only one factor of several.  We see children a year old, or more, who take the breast easily, and babies only a few months old who require a great deal of patience and creativity to get started.  One thing that is pretty universal, however, is that once adopted children finally do accept the breast, they generally learn to love it and take a great deal of comfort from it, and usually prefer it to the bottles that they had been so attached to.  Also, I can't think of anyone who has gone to a lot of effort to get an older child started nursing, whose child did not nurse for quite some time.   

Emotionally, the child who is adopted at an older age often has much more to gain from being nurtured at the breast than one who adopted as a newborn.  Even children who are born healthy and have been in a situation where they were well cared for can have quite a difficult adjustment in coming to a new home.  I guess, all in all, my message is that it is really not possible to set any age limits on when an adopted child can start to breastfeed.  Like I said, age is  a factor, but it is only one factor.  If a mother has a strong desire for her adopted child to learn to breastfeed, with enough patience and creativity, the likelihood of success is really quite good. 

Darillyn

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