Heather writes:

indeed  it invites speculation on the way some women may reframe the debate 
in order  to retain their self regard (important to us all) . they sound 
desperate and  heart broken.
~~~
I love this wording: "desperate and heartbroken." I have never know what it 
 feels like to have my body, my family, my society, my life, not support my 
 babies' abilities to have wonderful breastfeeding relationships with me. 
I'm not  saying I didn't struggle, especially with my first child, but that 
none of that  ended in making a choice I never intended to make. For those 
mothers who never  wanted to allow their babies to breastfeed at all ( the 
moms on the blog who say  they "fully intended to, and formula feed by 
choice",) I fully admit I  don't understand it very well. But then I don't 
understand why my  epileptic, diabetic friend continues to make  health choices that 
are  dangerous for her. I do know all these decisions are complicated and  
multi-factorial. I also know that a lot of times, I feel "desperate and  
heartbroken" by the stress of doing my best to help families establish  
breastfeeding and mothering relationships to whatever extent they want or they  can. 
Sometimes I wonder if my own outlook or biases find connections, and  
possibilities and outcomes that seem indefensible to others. I think there are  
two major things missing from the blog, the understanding that it is not just 
 contaminated water that makes safer artificial feeding a challenge, but 
the  powdered formula itself. In their defense, their own pediatricians make 
no issue  of this at all, sending very premature babies home with no 
information for mom  about the issue mattering at all. The other thing I notice is 
the overriding  suspicion that breastfeeding "advocates" have a need to 
promote breastfeeding to  justify our own choices, therefore anything said is 
suspect.  The terms "lactation consultant" or "breastfeeding specialist" just  
feed into this. I sometimes prefer to think of myself as in infant feeding 
and  behavior specialist, just knowing what normal is and how to help 
families  get there. ( This is when I am not feeling "heartbroken" about my role in 
 this whole web of issues....)
Thanks for this discussion, and to those who make a stand for families  
every day. 
 
Peace,
Judy  

Judy LeVan  Fram, PT, IBCLC, LLLL
Brooklyn, NY,  USA
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