Nikki wirites:

<Jean shares  some powerful thoughts about women and  their power.
Please, with all respect and honor,  tell me why your answer was  alright.
She asked you what you would do if you were her. Would  not an honest answer
have been, "I would go for the external version" or  "External version saves
some women from  a cesarean section" or  "Evidence says that it is worth a
shot...." ??>

No offense taken, Nikki. Glad to share my motivations.

Because she and I were not statistically strangers who would probably never
meet again in this lifetime. She is my granddaughter, and I know her,
intimately, and I wanted to preserve our good relationship for the sake of
the future-mine, hers and the baby's. I wanted them to have at least the
blessings of breastfeeding for as long as possible, which she was,
fortunately, willing to give "a college try". For that reason, I wanted to
preserve my "street credibility" in her mind and with my daughter, who would
soon be taking over her support when we could fly home from Montana to
Ohio.


(I took care of her for a month as a newborn when my daughter lay deep in a
coma, which the doctors never did diagnose. She woke up miraculously 12
hours after someone convinced the neurologist he might be risking a lawsuit
if he didn't try my suggestion to give her massive IV doses of Thiamin.  But
that's a horror tale having nothing to do with breastfeeding. With a hole in
her memory like Rip Van Winkle, her mom doesn't remember a thing about the
coma, but is grateful for the expertise of her physicians at doing a C.S.,
preserving her life, and saving her baby, my granddaughter.)

Because I have never had the personal experience of a breech birth, but I do
have memories of my 5 vaginal births and 4 years of giving childbirth
classes and nine+ years of working L&D, supporting many hundreds of women in
labor over the years, and I know the kind of psychological dedication it
takes to endure, let alone welcome, even an "easy" labor, to truly "give"
birth. I knew she was not open to that frame of mind.


Because I have seen many breech births (30-50+ years ago when they still
delivered them vaginally here) that ran into the exact problems that the OB
(gently, and accurately) alluded to, and I have watched physicans agonize
over whether to do a C. Section in the middle of a difficult labor, rather
than risk the dangers sometimes associated with an unmolded, aftercoming
head. And I have seen handicapped children whose whole lives were impacted
by the wrong decision.


And because I could tell from her "non-reaction" in the childbirth weekend I
took her to that her mind was completely blocking out all suggestions being
given, respectful to me, yet reserving her own "birth plan" and her own set
of values deep inside her own mind. There are quite a few other things about
which I don't agree with her, but as a crone, I am finally wise enough to
know the value of silence, how to choose my battles, and maximize my
opportunities.


And because I have a profound respect for boundaries. It was, in fact, her
body, her baby, and her birth experience, and I was not the one who was
going to live it, nor with the aftermath of it. There are many more chapters
to our lives, and now, she trusts me and is happy to call long distance when
she wants to ask me for advice. In addition, I give praise and reassurance
whenever I honestly can. She will soon be transferred to Germany, and she
has many hurdles to endure in her young life. The possibility exists that
she and I may, now, quite literally, never meet again in this lifetime.

And the mom, in the last analysis, especially at that stage, is always
right. I was not about to rain on HER parade.

Jean
**************
K. Jean Cotterman RNC, IBCLC
Dayton, OH USA

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