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Subject:
From:
Pamela Morrison IBCLC <[log in to unmask]>
Reply To:
Lactation Information and Discussion <[log in to unmask]>
Date:
Wed, 22 Jul 1998 08:04:52 +0200
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Stephanie, you wrote, "I'm at a loss, I want to support this mom, really do.
But I've got other clients, 3 kids, volunteer work, a house, and
school to contend with and my job really isn't to "be her friend".
I've made all the referrals I can, and I've been really good.....4
visits, 9 phone calls......... all when the technical breastfeeding
issue was solved at the first visit! How do I wean this client!"

A cry from the heart!  You've been great and have obviously given this mom
*exactly* what she needs.  In fact, much *more* than you think "should" be
necessary.  However, it seems very clear that she is still not quite ready
to "wean" from you. Your really eloquent descriptions of how much time you
have given to this client, and your frustration, sound sooooo similar to
moms describing their feelings with a toddler who seems to need them more
than they perceive is "normal".  Perhaps there's a reason that she is still
so needy, but you just don't know what it is yet. Maybe she's developing
fast in another area??? Remember the LLL maxim, A Need Unfulfilled Continues
to be a Need. My advice?  Relax, go with it, carry on seeing her as often as
she wants (never offer, never refuse!) charge for every consult (you are
obviously worth it and she can afford it) and enjoy this "easy" LC/client
relationship where you can go on reassuring her that all is well until she
really *believes* in herself.  My experience of these long-term
relationships is that the intervals between calls gradually lengthen and you
never know when the last consult will be (no closure) until one day you
remember she hasn't called you for a month and realize in retrospect that
she has self-weaned.

Pamela Morrison IBCLC, Zimbabwe (who often wishes she had more of these and
less of the "other" kind!)

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