Well I somehow missed the original post about self-calming babies, but I do
feel I need to address a few things I saw in Pamela's post.

While I can well remember how it feels to have to wake up when I was exhausted
as a new mom, I was also aware when I became pregnant, that night-feedings
were part of "the deal".  I think some of these mothers need a good dose of
reality.  I believe everyone who's old enough to have heard it, has hear the
expression "the 2 o'clock feeding", and has probably seen the faces of the
people saying it.  Telling these mothers who don't *want* to have to get up to
feed their babies,  "you *HAVE* to feed your baby round the clock" might make
the message a bit clearer.  Not everything in this life is a matter of what we
*want* but what we *HAVE* to do.  The next step would be to remind them that
this would have to be done whether the baby was breastfed or bottle fed,
perhaps a few times less, but she also doesn't have to waste time going to the
frig with the light blaring in her eyes, or standing by the stove heating up
that bottle (assuming she remembered to prepare a few in advance for those
night feedings), and having an unhappy and hungry baby in her arms waiting for
that bottle, which seems like it's taking forever to heat up.  (Yes I do tell
my new mothers this and it seems to drive the point home.)

When all attempts at helping mom to realize her responsibility to baby have
failed, and she is totally ignoring her need to breastfeed... I think *we* all
might need that dose of reality.  In a perfect world, all mothers would be
breastfeeding their babies on demand.  But this is *not* the perfect world and
we can only help when we are allowed to do so or become forced to have to
help.  In my humble opinion, if you have a mother who is neglecting her baby's
nutritional needs because she is NOT willing to breastfeed, but she shows an
interest in bottlefeeding, and you have a baby who is failure to thrive
because of it, the way I see it, we have 2 choices:  continue to push her to
breastfeed and allow her to continue to shirk her responsibility, or give her
the tools to deal with the problem another way.  Ask her if someone else would
share the feeding responsibilities with her,  if she were to bottlefeed at
night.  If the answer is yes, then suggest pumping her milk and that way baby
still gets the liquid gold.  If she's totally against that, then by all means,
suggest supplementing with formula.  Yes, I know, not what we want, but we
have to remember in the larger scheme of things, we want a healthy baby, not
an underweight, starved baby.  If mom feels her attempts at wanting to only
breastfeed only during the daytime are not worth it because we are telling her
she needs to do more than she wants to, she might decide breastfeeding is not
for her at all.  What's better? A mom who breastfeeds only during the day, or
a mom who doesn't breastfeed at all?

Pamela, I agree with your comments about it being easier to fall asleep while
being cuddled (or at least it's a heck of a lot more comforting).  By the way,
in my sociology text, it stresses the need for human love in the beginning of
our lives.  First issue we face, according to the book, is trust vs. mistrust.
That trust is built by our parents responding to our needs.  Maybe many of us
can relate now as to why trusting is so hard for us.  Bottles propped on
pillows in cribs and being allowed to cry, is not fostering trust.

It also states that babies remember their mother's through smell and that
eyesight is not well very developed in newborns.  Baby needs to be close to
mom.  Spread the word!! :)

Looking at the big picture,
Veronica Scott,
Breastfeeding Peer Counselor