Bravo Winnie.  So often I hear, "the nurse (LC or both) just saw I was
nursing but did not check to say it was right" or "no one offered to help."
Being the good empowering female I am, (haha), I usually counter with "did
you ask for help?". Surprisingly, the answer is often, no, I just thought
they would help me.  Then there are moms like me who write in their birth
plan the baby(s) is not to be touched without my express permission and not
to enter my room unless medically necessary. Haha.  When the poor soul dared
to ask if I needed help with latching twins, I asked what her credentials
were and did she not read my chart---don't bother me.  It's like my ob says,
there are moms like me who tolerate the hospital birth but want the home
birth experience and moms that walk in at 3 cm complaining because the
epidural isn't waiting for them. It's hard to make everyone happy and even
harder when the women don't even know what that would be.  I don't think it
is fair to "blame" the health care professionals for not knowing what the mom
wants when mom herself may not know.  I get just as many complaints about the
drugs not working fast enough as I do moms complaining they were offered too
many drugs.  Go figure.  Some woman like to own the power of their birth and
their mothering, and some don't.  I doubt any amount of educating will make
much difference....We can't get moms to believe (and act accordingly) they
can breastfeed and work, breastfeed for a year, breastfeed on meds, etc.  We
can't even get the majority of birthing women in the US to breastfeed for 3
months! I doubt the day is very close that they will believe a birth without
medical intervention is a GOOD thing.  The nurses/LC's that "smoosh" babies
on deserve a break.  They have what...?...minutes per patient?  "Baby needs
to nurse or else" attitude prevails.  They can see what's wrong, mom is so
drugged or tired she can't get it and nurse/LC knows she needs to have a feed
or the bottle lady is next one in the room....so....smoosh and it's done.
Feeding charted.  Unfortunately it is not always possible to just let mom and
baby be so they can find their own fit in their own time. (Oh, sure, in the
ideal, but not all are lucky enough to have the ideal and some don't even
know they should want the ideal.)  Some moms do like the help and are indeed
happy to have someone get their baby on and nursing. Next feeding they will
have more confidence.  The key is....ask permission.  Never assume mom wants
your hands on her breast or her baby.  But don't assume she doesn't either.
Explain and ask with an alternative for the no.  If a mom doesn't want to be
touched she needs a way out, and to know that there are other ways to help
her.  The truth is, sometimes it is really necessary to touch.  It's funny,
the reputations do get around and the same reputation is viewed differently
by different moms looking for different types of help.   So, those who sit
back and verbally assist or gently guide might be viewed by some as "doing
nothing" and by others as gentle and caring.  Some might see a "smoosher"
others a "helper".  Never can tell how you are viewed....hummmm, should we
ask?

Take care,
Pam MazzellaDiBosco     IBCLC            FL, USA

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