Christine, that was an interesting account of what happened.

I don't know if LLL have any guidelines on this, but I have to say
NCT bfcs are strongly urged to do no hands-on support at all. We find
we can help most effectively with verbal encouragement and maybe
'shadowing' a mother's hands with our own.  I never touch a mother's
breasts, and I only ever touch her baby if invited to, or, with
permission, I may gently hold a little arm down if I think it might
help. I have never, and would never, bring baby to mother or breast
to mouth the way you describe the nurse doing.

I truly don't think mothers seeking out my support 'lose out' because
of this. We try to empower mothers to do it themselves.

However, I think very skilled, knowledgeable clinical practitioners
can use hands-on, when appropriate, because they know how careful
they need to be, and gentle, and because (crucially) they have a
different relationship with the mother compared to a volunteer
counsellor/supporter.

If it's not done in the right way, by the right person,  hands on is
an approach that can badly backfire.....when hands-on is done
inappropriately, or roughly, it can lead to serious fighting at the
breast, or the baby shutting down. It can also be very disempowering,
almost literally disabling, to a mother. I have seen and heard this
many, many times from mothers - they don't want someone to do it for
them, they want (and need to) do it themselves.

In the right 'hands', however, with the right follow up, it is a
clinical tool that can be used. I do emphasise though, that as far as
my own volunteer organisation is concerned, we don't do it, and I
train my trainees to help mothers without it.

Also, my experience is that the baby's mouth and tongue do not need
to be checked, at least not by touching, if the baby's sucking and
behaviour are observed to be normal, and the mother is comfortable.
As you experienced, checking by moving the baby or using your finger
to see what he's doing, can break the latch and put the baby off. In
any case, what the  mouth and tongue are doing during the feed can be
irrelevant - it's how the baby takes the breast that can be more
important.

Heather Welford Neil
NCT bfc Newcastle upon Tyne UK

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