Something I worry about is a mum who sees me as an 'expert'.
If a mum rings for help, I don't want to be the expert. I want her to be,
because I want her to stay in charge. New mums are engaged in building a
relationship with a new person.
It's easier for me, doing mother-to-mother stuff, than for a professional, as I
am not expected to be medically qualified.
Over the years, people have learnt to trust experts. But when it comes to caring
for our young, we need to tap into instincts and memories of our own childhood,
and use experts' services only when necessary. Many new mums feel unsure at
first, and may need encouragement to find their own style. They may readily try
others' ways, and not their own, losing confidence easily. They may sound like
they are asking permission to do things. If I ask, 'what would you like to do
?', when they reply, I feel obliged to give my judgement of their idea. And even
if I say, 'that sounds fine', it still leaves me 'holding the baby...'
Helena Boutal