Jeanette Panchula <[log in to unmask]> wrote:

> [...] the more likely it is to have
> people like the phone call I got yesterday:
> 
> "My girlfriend finds pumping and bottle feeding breast milk easier ... all
> she has to do is pump and we then can see what the baby gets, I can feed the
> baby and she can sleep, and we can go about our life and work...  Is that
> wrong?"
> 
> (This call from a friend of my son, college educated and VERY involved in
> his new baby's care.)
> 
> Of course our counseling skills need to come out:  Could the mom have been
> an abused woman and doesn't want the baby at the breast?  Could the mom want
> to make sure she gets the father of the baby "hooked" on the baby, as they
> aren't married?  ???

This comment came as rather a shock to me. Why would you think that not
having had a formal wedding ceremony means that their relationship is
more likely to be tenuous and manipulative?

I think it's important to not bring this sort of prejudice into a
consultation. Even if it is not explicitly stated, women will detect it.

Lara Hopkins

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