Diane Wiessinger wrote:

>I decided long ago that if I really want to change something about someone,
I do best to be like the other person *in every respect* except the area in
which I want to produce change.  If I dress like him (well, her), talk like
him, understand the same movie and tv gossip, I increase my chances that
the other person will think, "Hey, she's not so bad.  In fact, she's
downright normal.  She thinks like me.  Yet she has this information that I
hadn't heard before.  It could be there's something to it.

I agree! in fact, this principle has long been understood by high-powered
salespeople, in a slightly different format. Many books have been written about how
to influence people so that they will buy your product - or your idea. Here are a
couple of examples.

A very effective tactic, is to imitate the actions of the person to whom you are
talking. If they have their arms folded, you do so to, and then follow up by
shadowing them - imitating their actions. Of course this requires some practice, as
it needs to be unobtrusive. Then, when you are ready, INITIATE a new gesture, like
scratching your hand, and watch how the other person will now follow you!

And here is another idea..

We know that some of us are more visually inclined than others. We need to see
things written down, and we use phrases like * I SEE myself making a career change*.
Others are more attuned to what they hear, or what they do, and this also reflected
in their use of language. One of the ways we can *sell* breastfeeding is by taking
the time to read the mother's cues, so that we can zero in on her particular sensory
orientation, and then choose an appropriate vocabulary.

Now, whoever would have thought that we might have something to learn from
car-salespeople? <G>


Norma Ritter IBCLC, LLLL Big Flats, NY
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"If not now, when? If not us, who?" R. Hillel