Nikki,
Your post left me in tears. You said everything I wanted to say. I am waaaay behind on lactnet, so this subject may have been done to death by now, but I did want you to know how much your words touched me.

27 years ago I went with my own first baby to a conference in NJ to hear Doris Haire gather support for her *Rights of the Pregnant Patient* paper. A couple of weeks ago that baby's wife gave birth to their own firstborn son, and NOTHING HAS CHANGED! It broke my heart to see her get that (IMNSHO) unecessary c-section. I honour her for fighting so hard on  the MANY occaisions that the nurses tried to push bottles of AIM despite being told repeatedly about familial sensitivities to both cows' milk and soy and her wish to avoid artificial nipples.

I have also worked with many mothers who *gave up* on breastfeeding despite every effort on my part to keep them going. I have come to recognise that some mothers truly do not want to bf but feel that they need to go thru the motions. They will buy every book, try every gadget - even demanding ones that are not helpful to their particular situation. The one thing they will NOT do is to nurse more frequently. At first I would blame myself - maybe I should have suggested xyz instead of abc? - and then I would blame them - if only they had xxxx. The only thing I blame now is societal and medical ignorance and pressure. I truly believe that every mother does the best she can with the information she has at the time.

warmly, norma

Norma Ritter
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Nikki wrote:
>       I would add the impact of being female in a world that has been
patriarchal for 5,000 years. We are abused, disrespected and held to
a model of functioning like men to receive recognition from society at large. When women change their routes of walking to avoid stares and catcalls from men, this is an energetic assault on our femaleness. Yet women are taught to adapt, and change their path, and we do. How often do we have to deal with the attitude that breasts are for men, not babies? We have been re-routed in our early aculturization.
       Golda Meir asked why  men didn't have the curfew when women were being raped at night, during the formation of Israel. The women were
supposed to stay indoors after10 PM. But it was the men that were the problem. They remained free to move about at night.
       What value is breastfeeding when women are supposed to leave
our little babies and put our milk in bottles for others to give to them?
How many women really make enough working outside the home to have any money to spend, once daycare and transportation and taxes and food and work clothes are paid for? Yet we are conditioned to do this.
       Another factor promoting lactation bail-out, is the factory
approach to obestetrics and hospital care. "Get the baby out efficiently;
get those moms home soon; make deliveries early in the week so hospital staffing can be easily planned. If breastfeeding doesn't work right away, or the baby doesn't fit into the factory pattern, bail out.
       Another factor is the adaptability of women, who often line up
like sheep, accepting all the risks of induction/epidurals/artificial
feeding as part of having babies. Other animals don't recognize their babies if they are given epidural anesthesia in labor; humans not only get epidurals routinely, but are separated from their babies at critical times. Women become disconnected from labor and from their babies. Yet they survive, and the babies go home breathing and with a heartbeat. The medical system views this as success, even though many of those babies can't suck or eat easily.
       Feeling very cyncial today,
       Warmly,
       Nikki Lee

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