Veronica brings up a very real and important issue.

<< I have had a few mothers recently who did not want to breastfeed from the
breast.  Of course, I know the benefits and I *always*  try to promote
BREASTfeeding, but, I have had the occasional mom who just doesn't feel
comfortable with it. . . . Regardless, I feel it's very important for me to
reach out to these mothers on their comfort level  We all know that any
breastmilk is better than none at all.  You'd be surprised the mothers who
tell me they have NO (emphatically stated) intention of breastfeeding, then
change their mind when I ask them if they've ever considered pumping their
milk and giving it in a bottle (and luckily some then do take baby to the
breast).  . . I feel it's VERY important  to be in touch with the mother's
needs as well as the baby's.  >>

Some women were reared with a great deal of physical isolation and aren't
comfortable -- to put it mildly -- with the degree of closeness required to
breastfeed.  Some have internalized the separation they experienced when
small as a value.  They have difficulty tolerating more than brief periods of
intimate contact.  And yet they may want to breastfeed because their head
tells them it is best.

I've heard mothers tell stories of childhoods devoid of basic warmth.  As I
watch them learning to love their babies I think they are making meals from
an empty pantry.  And I've seen miracles -- mothers who give their babies
what they never had and, in so doing, heal their own 'inner child.'

A mother who is making milk for her baby has the benefits of prolactin even
if she is giving her milk through the media of pump and bottle.  This would
seem to be a significant benefit.

As a child in the 40's, I heard it said that "If you hold your baby when you
feed him, you'll give him the same benefit of closeness as if you were
breastfeeding."  --A fine falsehood but at that time the traditions of
mothering at the breast were still enough alive that most women had some idea
what it meant.  Today we have women becoming mothers who have no idea what
the standard should be.  Maternal intimacy was lost over two or three
generations and, in some cases, it may take two or three generations to
regain it, if it is regained at all.

Research done over the past generation has demonstrated the physical benefits
of human milk.  I suggest that the task of the next generation is to deal
with the relational or emotional aspects of breastfeeding and that this will
be a more difficult task.  How does one scientifically prove an emotional
benefit?  If the fact that human milk is superior to artificial alternatives
makes some people very defensive, what will be their reaction to the
assertion that the love is different too?

Alice Martino
accredited volunteer with a major support group
in central New York State
mailto:[log in to unmask]

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