I often have to point out to people that attachment parenting is not a 
parenting style, but it is a way of describing a bond between the parent 
and child.  The use of the phrase 'attachment parenting' is highly 
counter-productive, I've found, as it means too many different things, 
to too many different people.  Some people end up thinking that 
cloth-diapering is part of an attached parenting philosophy!  Or no 
vaccinations, or home-schooling or ....

I think that's why many people are now discussing this territory, in 
terms of essential biology.  And of course, this now has it's own 
territory marked out, as you will find people discussing Biological 
Nurturing in the way they use 'attachment parenting' - a set of 
guidelines and suggestions that suggest a particular 'style' of parenting.

This often comes up in parenting groups, when people ask for the best 
'attachment parenting' books.  And they get confused when books without 
the words 'attachment parenting'; in their title, or even in the book at 
all, are suggested.

Attachment is an observation of success in parenting behaviour, not a 
prescription on how to parent.

If we're looking at biological needs, then we can certainly saying that 
attending to baby's essential biology, should result in very secure 
attachment.  So breastfeeding on demand and baby wearing, is high on the 
agenda, followed I'd probably say, by bed-sharing and then co-sleeping. 
   After that, it's usually about describing anti-attachment parenting 
behaviour, not in describing pro-attachment behaviour.  If you CIO, 
sleep train, keep baby at a distance physically, or allow it an endless 
stream of anonymous and ever changing care-givers... you are likely to 
disrupt attachment.  Disrupt attachment too much, you will probably 
cause the baby harm.  CIO, and you will cause the baby harm.

My cousin and I have diametrically opposed parenting styles.  We both 
have securely attached children.  Discuss.  :-)

Morgan Gallagher

(We both breastfed on demand and baby wore.  She bought me my Didymos.  
She sleep trained (but not CIO).  Go figure.)


Marit Olanders wrote:
>>
> I agree with what Gina wrote: supporting a mother in breastfeeding is 
> to advocate for her child. The possible problem with making some 
> parenting behavours into a packet and label it "AP" is that it might 
> segregate - either you're in or you're not. AP as a concept was 
> invented in the 20:th century, in the 1970:s I believe. Surely 
> children were securly attached (i.e. would react in a certain way in 
> Ainsworth's Strange Situation test) to their parents even before the 
> birth of AP and are so in cultures that have never heard of AP.

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