~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Marsha Glass RN, BSN, IBCLC~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mothers have as powerful an influence over the welfare of future generations as all other earthly causes combined.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~John S. C. Abbot~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Nikki, I think we all feel your pain because we've experienced our own version of this.  Like the mom with whom I spent most of a week in the hospital trying everything I knew (and a few things I made up!) and the baby didn't latch and the mom's milk didn't come in so, rather than keep pumping and
trying (which I would have happily helped her with), she just gave up.  It felt like such a waste of time, ultimately for me and a big fat zero for breastfeeding.  I think this mother hit the nail on the head when she said that she expected something different from your relationship.  Many fellow
Lactnuts have offered possible interpretations of what that might have been and I'll offer another.  First let me note the obvious, that a relationship requires two people and one person cannot be solely responsible for what happens in it.  Perhaps what this mother expected from you was to "fix it"
according to her agenda, i.e. reassure her everything would be fine, wave your magic wand and make it so.  She didn't want to hear there might be problems, it might take time, something might be amiss or that her baby wasn't doing perfectly fine and just needed another day or two.  You couldn't
magically "fix" her problem, her baby isn't fine, something probably IS amiss and it's going to take a little time.  That might not be what she wanted to hear.  You are astute to make the connection between continued bright red bleeding and baby's weight gain problems.  Not many other professionals
taking care of this couplet would make it -if any!  (So it must surely be you that's wrong, right?!)   Now, I had bright red bleeding for at least a few weeks with each of mine, didn't completely stop until about 8 weeks pp for me (I don't know if I've ever heard of anyone else taking this long!)
but my babies gained weight perfectly fine!  One lb the first week for my son!  It's hard for us, being such advocates for mothers, to be rejected by a mother we have tried hard to help.  I just hope one day that such moms will realize they were wrong in their initial opinion...as I have many times
in my life!  Hugs, Nikki!

Marsha

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Marsha Glass RN, BSN, IBCLC~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mothers have as powerful an influence over the welfare of future generations as all other earthly causes combined.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~John S. C. Abbot~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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