"Jennifer tieman" <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
(SNIP)
> Her lawyer has told her he cannot protect her breastfeeding relationship
in
> the least, and that she will have to go along with extended visits.  Mom
> wants to have the baby on her days off, and doesn't want overnights at all
> at this point as baby is still very young and exclusively breastfed.
> Is there any way I can help her as her physician, by writing and
documenting
> the importance of breastfeeding, and the unfeasibility of maintaining a
> supply if she is not allowed contact with the baby on her days off, and
with
> extended visits?
> Can anyone give me any pointers on how to write a letter (if such a thing
> would be helpful) and maybe what, if anything to avoid talking about?
> Thanks for your help in advance.

My suggestion is to share with the mother and her lawyer the guidelines for
developmentally appropriate visitation.  I would make this an issue about
what is developmentally appropriate for the children with the benefits of
protecting the BFing relationship and all the health benefits of BFing as a
secondary consideration rather than exclusively about protecting the BFing
relationship.  You are talking about trying to educate a lot of folks who
are in adversarial relationships about the benefits of BFing.  At best
she'll appear to be obscuring the issue of visitation, at worst she'll be
seen as someone who is uncooperative and trying to prevent visitation.

When fathers contest custody, they win sole or joint custody in 40% to 70%
of the cases. Ref 1

"Despite the powerful stereotypes working against fathers, they are
significantly more successful than is commonly believed. The Massachusetts
[gender bias] task force, for example, reported that fathers receive primary
or joint custody in more than 70% of contested cases." Ref 2

Here are links about developmental appropriate visitations:
http://www.divorcecentral.com/parent/handbook/5.html

http://www.aacap.org/clinical/custdy~1.htm

http://www.california-divorce.com/parental/parentalrts8.html

There are also web resources about BFing and custody, many authored by Liz
Baldwin, Esq.:

http://www.lalecheleague.org/Law/NBJanFeb96p4.html

http://www.storknet.com/cubbies/breast/bestinterests.htm

Another law firm (other than Liz's) which fights hard for BFing moms in
divorce:

http://www.virginiadivorceattorney.com/index.html

I hope this helps some.  I had several lengthy discussions with a Judge in a
Multnomah County, OR Circuit Court after being subpoenaed to testify in a
trial where a BFing mom had been falsely arrested (while pregnant) for
shoplifting and taken to court 3 days after her baby was born.  She was
handily acquitted but the stress and trauma of being away from her newborn
BF baby was of issue during the trial I was called to testify at.  The judge
wasn't really aware of the issues and we discussed it at great length while
my own BF 10 month old howled outside his court room - unwelcome to enter
because she was a baby.  Multnomah County now provides an in courthouse
childcare with some small pumping/storage facilities.  I like to think I
helped in a small way to make that possible.  :-)
-Monique Schaefers

(1) see: R. Abrams & J. Greanley, Report of the Gender Bias Study of the
Supreme Court of Massachusetts, 1989, pp.62-3

see: N.D. Polikoff, Why are Mothers Losing: A Brief Analysis of Criteria
Used in Child Custody Determinations, 14 Women's Rights Law Report, 1992,
p.77

(2)Lynn Hecht Schafran, Gender Bias in Family Courts, American Bar
Association Family Advocate, Vol 17, No. 1, p.26

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