I can't remember what I've posted here but I have a neighbour from China who
specifically asked me before her daughter was born if I would donate some
milk for her daughter. She is convinced *canadian* milk is better than her
milk, and that she won't have enough and that it is *canadian* milk that has
made Tristan grow so fat and healthy ;-) (not that it's entirely wrong, but
it's *breastmilk* and genetics, not just *my* milk--hopeless to get her to
grasp that with her limited English).
Anyhow. I have ABSOLUTELY NO HOPE of convincing her that her milk is "just
as good, if not better" than my milk *for her baby*. It's a lost cause. But
I did tell her that her milk is, and always will be better for her baby than
formula milk...especially following on the heels of the melamine scare in
China, I think she *does* believe that. She has been "trying" to nurse but
she said she would "try" and I keep telling her to be positive, and say she
*will* etc. Basically, if things keep up, however, it will be a
self-fulfilling prophecy: she will not have enough milk for her daughter b/c
she only "tries" to nurse her a few times a day, only when I'm there, etc.
I tell her the baby is sticking her tongue out and mouthing her hands and
is hungry, and she nurses, and seems happy to (smiling etc.) but does not
initate feeds for the most part. I *have* catered to her beliefs and given
her a few ounces of milk for her baby, b/c I *know* otherwise she is giving
the baby formula. Neither will make her produce more milk (giving my milk or
giving formula) but obviously my milk is at least still human milk and will
be better in that regard than formula, even if Tristan is a boy, a year
older, etc. Also, hopefully it *smells* and tastes more like "a mom" so
perhaps there is less chance at baby "learning to like" formula...
Yesterday when I took in about an ounce of milk, she wanted to feed it right
away. I kind of insisted she nurse first. The baby latched on well, sucked,
swallowed, etc. and came off and cried. And she then *really* wanted to give
my good quality canadian milk...which the baby downed, burped, and was
"happy" after. She has colostrum, baby is pooping and peeing well (and has
barely had any formula thanks to a little milk from me so far, not much
though, so most is from the lady's supply itself). I just don't know what
else to do. She now has "more proof" that she doesn't have enough milk due
to the baby sucking back the ounce or less I gave her last night and there
is a MAJOR language barrier. I speak very slowly, clearly, use EASY words
and concepts, and I know she listens but I don't think she grasps the idea
that her baby should be nursing A LOT right now, not just a few times a day.
I *think* she wants to BF, really *wants* to, but it is hard to tell 100%,
and plus I know her well enough to know she won't necessarily tell me off if
she is insulted or doesn't want to...she will probably just put up with me
and do what she wants when I'm not around.
I don't want this to become *my* cruisade, I want her to know I'm here for
her and will help her 100%, but I CAN.NOT.PROVIDE the milk her baby needs
long-term unless I nurse her myself 100% of the time ;-) so either she needs
to get some courage and nurse her or give up the dream or whatever you call
it...and if she's nursing 3-4x a day for 2-5 min. it won't cut it as we all
know...
She's scared to "spoil" the baby by holding it all the time. It's sad, b/c
the one thing I *do* know is she wants the baby fed human milk, and even if
she'd rather it was mine ;-) I *do* think she believes hers is at least
better than formula...
Anyhow. I'm kind of just venting but WDYT about the situation?? WWYD?
For the record, baby was born at 1:48 am Sept 8, mom's milk is not yet in
(or if it is, it has come in this afternoon since my last visit at noon).
She was born from a normal spontaneous labour with no augmentation, little
pain relief (a bit of laughing gas...), vacuum extraction after almost 2 hrs
of pushing. This is a G2,P2 mom, this labour was harder and longer than her
first. Baby was separated from mom for a full 40-45 min. after the birth
despite me saying numerous times she was *hungry* and asking when she could
have her... (yes, I was at the delivery; she is alone in Canada with few
female friends and she invited me...). Baby latched on really well despite
suctioning for mec. in amniotic fluid upon birth, and suckled well and
obviously was getting colostrum...for all of about 2 min. before the nurse
came back and insisted the baby be taken off the breast so she could take
mom's vitals etc. By the time baby went back to the breast again, 50-60
min. after the birth she was sleepy and not very interested in nursing. At
that point it was 3:30 am, my 1yo son was liable to wake anytime soon again
to nurse (at home with his dad) and I *really* needed to go. I felt I had
gone above and beyond *my* call of duty. I went back to the hospital the
next day around noon, again in the evening, and saw her yesterday twice too.
Several other good latches with swallowing have been had since then. I am
*hoping* her milk comes in soon and she realizes just how much she can have.
;-)
(by the way I am not doing any of this "in the name of" any specific
organization, just to be clear. I nursed Tristan, and still do, in front of
her, and both she and her husband approached me separately, timidly, and
asked if I would donate milk. I am honoured, truely I am, it just is not
the "right" thing, since I know she *can* BF if she works at it...)
Lastly, other than the LLLI website that has chinese pages (which I
accessed) does anyone else have any other *good quality* online pages in
chinese characters for her? Things that talk about how it's ok to hold a
baby and not spoil it, how to ensure having enough milk (by nursing
frequently) etc.?
Thanks!
Fio
--
--
Children's Restraint System Technician (CRST), BF volunteer, and most
importantly, Maman to Sandrine, 9yo, Nyssa 6.5yo, and Tristan, born 11 aug
2008.
Cost of a carseat: $150
Time it takes to buckle it up properly: a few seconds of your day.
Making sure your child gets home safely: PRICELESS.
http://www.rabais-coupons.com pour des coupons virtuels
--
--
Children's Restraint System Technician (CRST), BF volunteer, and most
importantly, Maman to Sandrine, 9yo, Nyssa 6.5yo, and Tristan, born 11 aug
2008.
Cost of a carseat: $150
Time it takes to buckle it up properly: a few seconds of your day.
Making sure your child gets home safely: PRICELESS.
http://www.rabais-coupons.com pour des coupons virtuels
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