Usually, my answer remains the same as it was when I was an LLLL: I nursed
my babies "longer than is culturally acceptable - at least in the USA."
Then I explain my efforts to get mom to understand that BFing is so much
more than just a delivery method for nutrition. I discuss the meaning of
exclusive BFing for 6 mos, of continuting for 12 mos, or longer, per the
APA; and that there are women who nurse up into preschool years. When it's
okay with that family, it's okay, period. And I go on to suggest how many
moms' attitudes and beliefs change as their baby grows, baby's needs
change, and mom begins to feel how much more is involved - that it is
nuturing emotionally as well as physically.
And I say that how long I nursed is important only to me, and it was
different for each of my children. It could be a put-off to one mom and an
unreasonable goal to another mom, who may put me, the LLLL mom, up on the
pedestal of having 'figured it all out'. I know that's how I felt as a
young, new mom, feeling so inadequate in my efforts to 'do it RIGHT'.
I do suggest that they go to some LLL meetings where they might actually
see a nursing toddler and his/her relationship with mom, and talk to that
mom about her toddler. If she's nursing a toddler for the first time, she
may be the first to say that nursing into toddlerhood was the last thing on
her mind when that child was born; and then go on to describe her mental /
emotional evolution as a mother.
Once a mom gets out of that "eeewwwww" attitude and begins to see it as
okay, at least for others, I will refer her to Kathy Dettwyler's research
about the age range for natural, baby-led weaning.
--- Phyllis Adamson, IBCLC, RLC
--- Glendale, AZ, USA
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