>Stern also suggests that those who work with women in this part of life
>extend warm, nurturing support and advice without the professional distance
>that a professional relationship usually inhibits.  To over simplify, to
>model nurturence.

Every so often I get a cluster of mothers who really need other mothers,
but who are still afraid to go somewhere as organized as LLL, or for whom
the next LLL meeting is weeks away.  I think of them as the "walking
wounded", and arrange a gathering at my house.  My latest "walking wounded
tea" had their first meeting last week.  Only 3 of 5 could manage to get
there even tho we had it at 2 pm, which tells you what kind of shape they
were in.

But the thrush-from-birth mom marvelled at how frequently and casually the
other two were able to nurse their babies, and left with new resolve to try
diflucan and get that left side going.  The chronically fussy baby mom had
a chance to show off for the other 2, now that her problems were beginning
to be behind her, and the mom who still didn't know if she wanted to nurse
got to see a Real Nursing Mother and see how easy it is once you stop
leaking and fumbling and needing pillows.

They wanted to meet again, but they still felt too fragile to host it
themselves, so we had it one more time at my house this morning, before
they take over organizing on their own.  The two mothers who were leaking
and *hating* it have slowed way down, the thrush mother isn't pain-free but
is much better, after positioning changes and a week on diflucan.  And the
mother who didn't like nursing returned the pump(!).

The two mothers who couldn't make it last week at 2 managed to come this
week at 10, and one even went on to the grocery store afterwards, though
with some trepidation ("what if the baby starts yelling?").  The most
recent fussy baby mom went into a huddle with the fussy baby "graduate".
And the new arrival who has been pumping for bottles witnessed the pump
return by the mom who "used to do that", and agreed that maybe she "dared"
start doing more nursing now - maybe nursing all morning and not pumping
until afternoon.

All have been *delighted* to see that they're not the only ones with
problems, to discover that while they still have vulnerable areas they also
have areas of expertise to offer others, and to learn that there are other
new mothers out there in what they had thought of as The Void.

Step Ten and group nurturing.  My "satisfaction fix" for the day.

Diane Wiessinger, MS, IBCLC, LLLL  Ithaca, NY