Both Susan and Heather: thanks!
I had seen this dessert-issue coming bye regularly these last few days and 
time and again, my thoughts stranded on it.
I would not have been able to describe it as clearly as Susan did, but I do 
think that we should get rid of this terminology.
Acutally, I'm distracted this very moment from a document I am writing to 
convince the government that bf has no advantages.
I wrote something like: "In advanced lactation circles, this transition has 
already been made" and so on. ;o))
Aaahh... all the progress we make here, by paying attention to how we word 
things! Marvellous!

Bye,

Marianne Vanderveen IBCLC, Netherlands

----- Original Message ----- 
From: "heather" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Saturday, June 19, 2010 2:37 PM
Subject: Re: [LACTNET] Why I don't like the dessert model


> >Dear all:
>>
>>I can understand why the dessert model might operate for some mothers, but 
>>the more I think about it, the dessert model sends the wrong message.
>
>
> Yay! I so agree, Susan. For all the excellent reasons you cite - this is 
> just not a helpful analogy in our society, and actually, it's a risky one 
> because of the messed-up relationship our society (and especially women) 
> has with food.
>
>>  It doesn't help the mother understand that by interacting with her baby, 
>> trying different things and observing how her baby responds, that she 
>> will LEARN what works for HER baby.
>
> This is such a difficult thing for mothers to believe - but that should be 
> a spur to us spelling it out. I have used the term 'breastfeeding is a 
> relationship' many times, but I now think I will swap this for the more 
> accurate 'breastfeeding is an interaction' when I am dealing with the 
> question, 'yes, but how do I know when he's had enough/when he needs 
> feeding/when to swap sides?' often said with some anxiety. I also let them 
> know that 'sometimes you'll get it a bit wrong' because we all get things 
> wrong, but as long as things are usually put right again fairly soon, it 
> will be ok.

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