The way we communicate information is so important.  I think that most of
the time it is fine to just tell the truth very simply as best we can
ascertain what it is.  But as we tell the truth, our voices should be calm,
and we might want to place a hand gently on a mother's arm.  What I've
learned from the people who do massage and body work is that 'intention' is
key.  This means that my thoughts are loving and not judgemental, and that I
am 'vibing' calm, not anxiety.

 When was the last time someone really acted interested in all of you while
examing part of you?  When was the last time someone told you bad news
compassionately?  I think the manner in which health care professionals
communicate is one reason why there is so much consumer discontent about
care.  It seems harsh, and harshness doesn't promote trust or encourage an
expectation of healing and recovery.

Brief story.  I went to see a chiropractor whom I occassionally consult when
my back goes out.  This was last Spring when I had just returned from one of
my mother's very bad spells as she sank nearer and nearer to death.  Much of
the muscle discomfort was coming from  holding myself together, so to speak.
As she worked on me, she asked me what was going on in my life.  I told her
and she stopped, really looked at me, and said, "I'm so sorry about your
mother."  I burst into tears and cried real hard for about 2 min. while she
calmly finished adjusting me.  I felt so well cared for physically and
emotionally when I left.   She very wisely had invited me to have an
emotional release, gave me a safe space in which to have it, and then
effectively tended to the part of the healing she could do something about.

This is actually a model I subscribe to when I work with women.  It allows
me to say what I need to say about Ezzo, formula, or whatever, while still
being compassionate to the whole person.  Then I focus on tending to the
part I am able to do something about, which is helping make bfg work better.

Barbara Wilson-Clay BSEd, IBCLC
Austin Lactation Associates
http://www.lactnews.com

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