>
>
>I was
>disturbed by the observation in a recent LN post (sorry, forgot who it was)
>that mothers know the benefits of breastfeeding but choose not to seems not
>to be the issue but rather that breastfeeding is so overwhelming and
>difficult.  How true!
>
It was me :-) I want to add that a lot of the things we (breastfeeding
supporters, and even experienced breastfeeding mothers) consider
reasonable and normal do not appear that way for a mother starting out
breastfeeding and running into trouble. Is it possible that some of us
have forgotten how difficult it was to adjust to the whole mothering
thing, or is it just that I was particularly slow in adapting? I had a
long talk with my dh about this yesterday, which also included some
laughter about how a good male friend had tried to join our conversation
right when three women were talking about sensitive nipples. This was
the Christmas party in which a mother who is bf her six-week-old baby
and didn't bring him said, "I don't know how to do this. It is so hard!"
Now, biting my tongue so I wouldn't say: "How could you ever / I would
never" I realized that there were real tears in her eyes and that being
a mother *should* feel normal but actually does *not* a lot of the time.

Perspective is everything. I told my son, "Well, the only time in my
life that relationships were really a problem was between the ages of 10
and 30." Somehow, he didn't seem reassured, although he is already
half-way through that period!

It's easy for me to say now that it is the love for my children that is
overwhelming. I'm 46 years old, for pete's sakes :-) The challenges of
raising a large family, breastfeeding a baby who can't figure out how to
latch right, giving over my body that many hours a day (actually sitting
still) etc. don't seem quite as unsurmountable any more... Sometimes
they do, though, and I think it's nice to give back to a new mother who
is feeling just as ambivalent and tired and frustrated and desperate as
I am in those now-brief moments.

My feeling is that these are the women who could breastfeed for more
than six months if they knew what I know. I am just not sure how to give
it, except to say, "You feel overwhelmed. I did, too, for weeks and
weeks. Then it was ok, and by the time a few months had gone by it was
actually good, and after that I realized breastfeeding was about the
best thing I had in my life. Now, years later, my children are a real
joy."

Tell me why that wouldn't be an effective ad campaign. It's what mothers
say in LLL meetings, and the new mothers who hear them have a
better-than-average bf duration. But not everyone is hearing the
message. Maybe if governments gave better funding to volunteer groups,
there would be more LLL Groups, more Leaders, more meetings, more
members, more outreach projects ...

Jo-Anne

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