Why do we teach breastfeeding moms how to give the baby a bottle?

It is one of the ways I can keep moms breastfeeding here in Virginia.  At 6
weeks, the mom is still wondering what this parenting stuff is all about. It
is so much harder than she imagined.  She has hurt everywhere in her body,
especially her most tender spots.  She has had almost no sleep and not enough
help from her support people so she can really rest and enjoy breastfeeding.
She has sacrificed herself to breastfeed because she knows it is good for her
baby, but now all the voices telling her to quit are starting to sound more
tempting.  After all, she did it for 6 weeks.  That's good enough isn't it?
Her friends all bottle feed.  The LC and LLL Leader she has been talking to
affirms that nursing for that long was a really good thing to do when she
asks.  Going back to work . . .  to the familiar workplace where she knows
what to do and what to expect, and someone else will take care of the baby,
this confusing, demanding, hard to predict child.
This job of parenting has been so much harder than she ever expected.
Why is it so hard when she was so capable before the baby was born, especially
at her job?  Maybe all her family and friends are right and if she weans the
baby will get on a schedule, sleep all night, she'll go back to work and feel
normal again.
But, she has these strong feelings about the baby she didn't know she would
ever have.  She's starting to really love to breastfeed and feel the baby so
close.  It doesn't hurt like it did in the beginning.  She dreads leaving him
and is surprised that she realizes she would actually miss breastfeeding.
Maybe she could still continue to nurse a while longer.  After all at the
class she attended she learned quite a few other mothers do continue to
breastfeed when they work away from their babies, although she has never known
anyone who did that.  It sounds awfully hard. What if it doesn't work.  She
could go on and wean the baby to formula if it is.  Well, she's willing to
give it a try for a while.
But then the baby hates the bottle!!  Oh, no!  Another BIG problem. He
screams!  She can't stand it!  Her friends tell her it is her fault because
she waited so long to introduce it.  They tell her formula and bottle feeding
is SO much easier, and breastfeeding is not worth it.  Maybe she should listen
to her friends and not the LLLL or LC that have been helping her breastfeed.
She did what they said and waited a month before introducing the bottle.  Now
she and the baby have screaming matches.
Her husband gets all red in the face and angry when she asks him to give the
bottle and then the baby refuses and cries at him.  He has felt so useless
these past weeks because he couldn't feed the baby and even now that he can
offer the bottle, this isn't working and he feels more useless and rejected.
She doesn't feel he is really included or that supportive.  She feels all
alone.  She is the only one who can comfort the baby.  Maybe her friends are
right that breastfeeding has made the baby too dependent on her.
The sitter keeps 3 or 4 other children and the baby can't be crying all day
and refusing to eat.  This is a really good sitter, and she doesn't want to
use anyone else.
Who should she listen to; her friends and relatives who she has known and have
cared for her for years or these new advisors she has known just a short time?
Do they really understand her life?  Their advice has worked some, but she is
still so tired, frustrated and confused.  What should she do?
It is at this moment that if she looses confidence in her breastfeeding
advisor breastfeeding will probably be lost fairly soon.  If the breastfeeding
advisor can help her with the transition to the workplace, maintain her milk
supply and teach her how to gentle the baby into taking the bottle so that
breastfeeding continues, we buy that precious commodity -- --  TIME.  With
time the mother heals from the birth.  The baby grows and becomes easier to
care for.  Mother and baby continue to breastfeed, all day and night long on
her days off (if she is still listening to her advisor LC, LLLL etc.) and she
feels stronger.  Breastfeeding IS still working.  She finds out she CAN
continue and actually loves doing it.  Pumping is a hassle and she gets pretty
tired, but she learns it IS worth it.  She begins to notice other peoples
babies are sick a lot.  Not her baby.  WOW!  It's because she's been to
determined to continue to breastfeed.
NOW, we have a new breastfeeding advocate with this mother.  She starts
talking to her friends and younger moms, encouraging them to breastfeed and
not stop when they return to work.  She tells them to "stick it out" through
the first 6 weeks, because it is worth it.  She gives out our phone number and
sends moms to the same classes she attended.  She shows new moms how to use a
sling like the one she uses at home.

That is why we, and many other strong breastfeeding advocates, (even
fanatics),  help mothers learn how to gently introduce the bottle when they
ask.  We beg them to wait at least that first month.  We caution about overuse
and urge them to not give bottles when mom is home. We always advocate that
total breastfeeding is best and teach the advantages of real "breastfeeding"
over just "breastmilk feeding".  We give all the alternatives, cup, spoon,
dropper, syringe, etc.  We work to keep their confidence.  We keep in touch by
phone and try to get them to support group meetings.  When this mom and baby
comes charging into our office and shouts:  "Jane, Pat (my associate)!! My
baby is 6 months old.  I've been working full time and he's never had a drop
of formula!!  I never thought I could do it!  And I was only planning to nurse
for 6 weeks in the beginning.  Now I have NO plans to wean at least for a
year!!"       . . .   THAT'S when we feel really good.

Does this explain it?

Jane Bradshaw RN, BSN, IBCLC
LLLL for 18 yrs