Jamie,

I will second that all your emotions are very normal.

 

I recently co-led an LLL conference session on nursing during pregnancy and
tandem nursing. Many mother expressed that they too had dealt with a wide
range of negative feeling regarding nursing the older child. You are
probably already familiar with the book, "Adventures in Tandem Nursing" by
Hilary Flower. I think the book does an excellent job of covering some of
the emotional aspects of BF while PG/tandem BF.

 

On a personal note, I also struggled with very challenging feelings when
tandem nursing my 1st and 2nd children. Nursing my older one (he was about 3
then) felt so wrong. I hated the feel of his "huge" mouth on my breast. It
was all I could do to not scream. I would often try to mask my intense
feelings but of course my older child picked up on the tension and we had
many difficult days when his baby sister was about 0-6 mos. Equally
difficult was the internal conflicts I battled with. I mean I was a
breastfeeding support person so why did I feel this way?! Thoughts like that
drove me nuts because mentally I wanted to love tandem nursing and bask in
the glow of two siblings nursing while holding hands LOL. Gradually things
did get better. As my son matured he coped better with limits at the breast
and my hormones and feelings balanced out too. There were some herbal
remedies and such that also helped me with my hormones and feelings at that
time.

 

Now with my third baby I am surprised not to be tandem BF anyone. It seems
so easy to just be nursing one! My oldest son (now 6) still asks for an
occasional sip of breastmilk and I oblige for a moment or two. However my
middle daughter (3 yr), when she puts her mouth to my breast, has forgotten
what to do. Nursing has always meant so much to my son that it is no
surprise that he is still the one that knows how to nurse while the 3 yr has
no clue anymore.

 

So, yes, your feelings are real and normal. I found Hilary Flower's book as
well as mother-to-mother support groups to be a wonderful source of support.
Best wishes as you figure out what works best for your family.

 

 

Melissa Cole

LLLL, WIC PC, 2009 IBCLE exam candidate (hopefully!)

 


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