Someone wrote:

"Darillyn,
You wrote:
"I don't see the idea of encouraging and helping mothers to nurse discreetly in public as imposing on them the responsibility of educating the public.  I see it as a consolidated effort to make the waters safe for nursing moms and babies, both as individuals and collectively.  "

I think there is a huge difference between helping amother nurse in the way that she is most comfortable and "encoursing" discreet nursing. When we "enourage discretion" (whatever that may mean to each woman), we are making a value judgement about appropriateness of breastfeeding in a given situation and the ways in which it should be done.

Of most interest to me in this definition is the idea that we want to keep something "secret". I do not want to keep breastfeeding secret at all. Personally, I would like to see us toss the word out altogether. After all, we have no such term to describe the way that adults eat or babies eat from bottles (and I doubt I am the only one who finds that visual unappealing). I think the more we try to define how one should breastfeed, the more we contribute to the idea that it is aberrant behaviour. The implication is that only those mothers who breastfeed "discreetly" are behaving apropriately. IMO, when we (as the LC's, LLLL's, etc) routinely introduce the idea of discretion, we are harming breastfeeding as a cultural norm. I think we are only "making the waters safe" for certain moms when we advocate this behaviour, and in affect make the rest of us open to even more ridicule."

It is really hard for me to understand why anyone would feel the need to single me out in this manner.  The only thing I object to is nursing in such a manner as to expose the entire breast to public view, with no effort to cover anything up and no respect for anyone else's feelings.  No, I do not think that is appropriate. Americans get upset about this.  It may be ridiculous that they should, but that is the situation as it exists.  How does this belief make me guilty of opening up mothers to more ridicule, or making value judgements about which situations breastfeeding is acceptable in and how it should be done?  Also, I said specifically that we WANT people to know that we are breastfeeding, and NOT to hide it, or keep it secret, just to show that it can be done in a manner that does not unnecessarily disrupt everyone else.  That is the general rule for public behavior, not just with breastfeeding.  

I am sorry if I sound overly sensitive but after going to EXTREME measures to breastfeed in situations that even many LLL leaders and LCs have thought hopeless, and to support other mothers in especially challenging situations, it is pretty hard to be accused of doing things to the detriment of breastfeeding mothers.  You can disagree with my opinion, but please don't accuse me of hurting breastfeeding!

Darillyn

P.S.

Does anyone know of a better word than "discreet", since that one is so upsetting to some people?

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