In einer eMail vom 22-5-04 4:32:23 West-Europa (zomertijd) schreibt
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> When we say that "guilt" is a red herring and that concern about
> guilt should not mean we withhold information, it does NOT mean that
> we are saying we "should" make moms feel guilty for not
> breastfeeding.  What the mom "chooses" to feel isn't something
> someone else causes them to feel.
>

Winnie, this brings me to apoint that I have been missing (or just not have
seen perhaps?) in this duscussion.

No one can *make* anyone feel guilty. The sense of guilt is already there and
can, eventually, be awakened by someone or something. One who is confident in
the choices made will not have any feeling of guilt. Later on, with
increasing knowledge or changing insight one might feel sorry or wish to have decided
in other ways.
An example:
I have done things (feeding routines, sleeping regimen, ...) with my eldest
in the pure belief that that was what I should do. With the knowledge I had at
that moment and the information from the well-baby-clinic doc I made what at
that point seemed to be well informed and well thought of decisions. Later on,
reading more, coming into contact with LLL, I sometimes cringed on my babycare
practices before and wished I had known better, but was not feeling any
guilt.
And another:
When I was a smoker (some 25 years ago) I never read the magazine stories
about cancer. I didn't think them to be very interesting. Ofcourse that was no
more than not listenng to my own sense of guilt for being a smoker and hurting
my body by it. The first one I did read was one with pictures of placenta's of
smoking moms my GP gave me when discussing becoming a mother. Then I felt
guilty for smoking and harming not only myself but also my still-to-be-started
child, which directed me to the decisons to stop it right away.


Warmly greeting,

Gonneke van Veldhuizen, IBCLC, LLLL
Germany - The Netherlands

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