Hello,

I have to admit I was a little shocked and also a bit offended by this
statement:

"So, I kinda feel baby has other issues and that is why she is being so
stubborn to take a bottle."

While I fully understand the spirit in which this statement was made, I am
sad to see that society's attitudes are so pervasive that even our own
IBCLCs are affected.  I do not believe that a baby who feeds well in the
*biologically normal* manner "has issues" at all.  I also do not believe
that calling this baby "stubborn" is appropriate -- the baby knows how to
eat as she was designed to do!   Why is she "stubborn" for not wanting a
synthetic vessel from a stranger (experienced as you may be) in place of her
warm, yummy mommy?

My upset is *not* about whether a mother can/should separate from her baby
because of work.  I fully understand that there are, at times, circumstances
which cannot be mitigated and sometimes, mothers have to leave their babies.
However, to place the blame on the baby for not readily adapting to this
circumstance -- this unnatural, flawed-society-driven circumstance -- that
just doesn't seem right to me.

New mothers who seek help with lactation are in a very vulnerable position.
They want what's best for their babies.  If anyone had presented my choice
to breastfeed as "the problem" when my baby wouldn't accept a bottle, I
would have felt seriously undermined.  Thankfully, my La Leche League Leader
let me know my baby was normal and right to prefer me over that bottle!  She
empathized with me and helped me brainstorm ways to meet my baby's need for
food (as well as her need for my presence, which for a tiny baby, is one and
the same as the need for food) despite my return to work.  She didn't tell
me my baby had issues, and she celebrated that my baby demonstrated a
preference for breastfeeding -- she told me it's better to have a baby who
won't take a bottle than one who won't take a breast.  Far too often,
mothers abandon breastfeeding when a baby really *does* "have issues" that
we might be able to help overcome...our society accepts bottlefeeding as the
"easy out."  If mothers struggled as hard to get "stubborn" babies to the
breast as they work to get them to take a bottle, we'd all be a lot busier
and hopefully, more mothers and babies would succeed.  Sadly, it is our
society that has conditioned us to believe a baby "has issues" if she won't
accept a bottle.  Let's keep working together to turn the tide!
Breastfeeding is normal!

--Diana in NY (Karen Rotondi, if you're out there, I still thank you every
day!)




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