Show me a parent in North America who does not feel guilty about something or other, and I will add this sighting to my life list of rare birds.  

For most of us, guilt goes along with being a parent, because we have internalized messages that we should meet extremely (maybe impossibly) high standards in every aspect of the task. Yet we know that we are usually just muddling through as best we can, kicking the dirty socks under something, and dishing up what's easy instead of supernutritious on the harried days.

Cultures exist where muddling through is OK. There are also cultures where anything that goes seriously wrong with the infant is due either to malign outside influences (e.g. the evil eye of a jealous neighbor, or a demon) or to the child being intrinsically weak or flawed (e.g. a bad seed, as I have heard it expressed by a farmer mother from an agricultural setting.) These beliefs may be psychic survival mechanisms for parents with very little control of economic, social, and political resources, so they have of necessity a "what happens is what happens" attitude.  

Maybe we overdo guilt in North America generally? Do we need to officially inform parents that muddling along also has a time-honored role and is vital to survival?  

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