I'm glad to see that the issue of bottle-feeding breastmilk/mother-
baby separation is being addressed here, even though each post just 
rips me to shreds...I'm going to have my 3rd baby in a few days 
(please, let this baby come out in a few days!) and, when it is 12 
weeks old, I'll be going back to work.

Neither of my first two babies took bottles.  There were probably 
things I "could have" done to encourage/force bottle use by my babies, 
but I refused to let them cry, go hungry, or not nurse when I was 
available to them.  My work situation is one that I was able to make 
flexible -- I have my babies during a high-separation time of year (so 
I'm on maternity leave then) and I return when our schedule is 
relatively slow and flexible so that I am able to get to my baby in a 
timely manner to feed, at least for that first 6 months (I'm home for 
3, then juggling a bit for 3).  

I will also tell you that both of my children reverse cycled -- had 
their 3-4 hour stretch of sleep while I was at work and rarely went 2 
hours at night between feedings.  While this exhausted me, I have the 
support of my husband (who has the same out-of-the-home job as I do).  
He protects my sleep when we have the time for me to sleep.  He picks 
up the slack in our home so that I can rest with the baby.

I tell you all of my experiences because, while I know I am lucky to 
be in my situation with a supportive husband and a job I can 
manipulate a bit (not without penalty, but that's of no consequence to 
me when it comes to the needs of my babies!) -- my experience 
demonstrates that there may be more than one way to skin a cat, so to 
speak.  I got pregnant thinking I'd be like "everyone else" and leave 
my baby in a daycare center with bottles of breastmilk while I went 
back to work...but my little girl had other ideas for how things would 
go and I had to think outside the box -- a lot!  It was hard for me to 
come to grips with the needs of my baby, and even harder for me to 
convince people I worked for to accept that my baby would be with me 
whenever possible (we're musicians, we travel a lot, and my kids come 
with us on trips or to faraway concerts).  However, I could see no 
feasible alternative -- letting my baby go hungry until she "learned" 
to take a bottle or denying her a
ccess to me and my breasts when we were together simply were not 
options I could accept.

I guess I was one of those mothers who "had to" bottlefeed, but I 
never actually did.  It bears mentioning that my daughter breastfed 
until a few months shy of her 4th birthday and her brother, who turned 
3 this past fall, is still enjoying his "un" (and is very happy the 
baby will come soon so he can share!).  I tandem nursed for almost 2 
years, all the while my work schedule evolved back into "normal" as my 
children were better equipped to separate from me.

I offer my story (for those of you still reading!) in the spirit of 
thinking outside the box on this issue.  Yes, the United States has a 
long way to go on this topic and on recognizing the value of 
motherhood, in general, on a society.  However, sometimes a mother who 
thinks she needs help getting her baby to take a bottle may appreciate 
help brainstorming other ways she can manage the breastfeeding 
relationship.  I know this opens up a whole other can of worms 
(whether to answer the questions WE want to address or the ones the 
mother actually presents...I as a LLL Leader have LLL philosophy to 
stand on when I answer questions so I feel that when a mother comes to 
me, I am justified in offering a bit more answer than she might have 
asked for) but...I think this presents another viable wrinkle in the 
scope of breastfeeding advocacy and mother-baby togetherness.

--Diana in NY

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