I was lurking but I just can't read another "dental" post without
commenting.

I used to not think much about guilt, and when I did I saw it as an
inadvertent product of awareness that there is a better choice than the
one being made.  I have to say, after reading the analogies to dentistry
practices, that I have a different view of guilt.  It seems to have
crossed over to "why not guilt".  Guilt in this form is a last ditch,
powerless base from which to work.

Some have inferred it's okay in dentistry so why not breastfeeding.  Done
with intent, I disagree.  The last thing that will get me to the dentist
is guilt.  If they welcome me, are glad to see me even though I should
have been in a long time ago, I will be more inclined to go.  If they
assault me with those awful videos, scold about flossing etc, I avoid
going even longer.  It's makes me angry. I am paying them to provide a
service, not be my mother.

The LAST thing I would wish a mother to feel is the way I feel when I go
to the dentist!

I think that if we present the facts in an informative way, without
attendant negative body language and judgmental tone of voice, and a
mother feels guilty ---well, we can't help that.  Some people will feel
guilty no matter how gently we approach, which is why I do everything I
can to praise a mom for whatever she has done to breastfeed, no matter
the duration.  In counseling breastfeeding mothers I have seen many make
a different choice the second time around.  One mother in particular I
saw only a few times and could have thought of as a failure (mine, in
failing to convince).  She didn't nurse long. A few years later I saw her
again and she was nursing her second child, who went on to nurse till he
was four.  She said that it was the loving accepting attitude that
allowed her to keep thinking about nursing and she became a strong
proponent in her community, even sending books to school for her
principle husband to share with teen moms.  This tiny ripple went a long
way.

If my options are guilt or loving encouragement, I will pick the later
every time.

Adele
Putting on my asbestos underwear and going back to lurkdom.

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