It seems to me that there are two distinct concerns here - getting the
baby to the breast and the family dynamics.
Relactation after three weeks is not impossible by any means. We had a
mother come to our LLL meeting fully nursing her 6 week old baby. She
told us that she had had no intention of nursing and never put the baby
to breast at all, but at three weeks he was persisting in rooting
whenever she picked him up so she latched him on out of curiousity. Smart
baby! She nursed him whenever he wanted, and he never had another bottle.
Now this mother might need a little more help bringing back her milk, but
an SNS should do it till her milk comes in, and she may also need some
help with latching techniques too.
My main concern, however, would be with the family dynamics. You wrote:
>She has a full-time baby nurse (for about another month) and a husband
who has stated that he will not let the baby "change their entire lives."
I saw her again in public this weekend at a party, again without the
baby, where she made the comment, only half-joking, that she "barely
sees her child" and that she feels overwhelmed by this new
responsibility. She is only 23 and has just had a traumatic birth.
Even before the birth, I shared a meal with her and she seemed terrified
of labor, without the excitement of becoming a new mom, so I think there
were emotional issues even before the birth.
Oooooh boy!
I agree absolutely that breastfeeding might help her to heal the
emotional wounds, but there seem to be a LOT of issues here, not the
least of which is a father who wants a baby that will not disrupt their
lives. I would be VERY tempted to suggest parenting classes at the very
least or professional counselling at best, but somehow I doubt that this
couple would take kindly to either of those suggestions.
If the mother trusts you, gentle encouragement may be all that you can
do. Is there a new mother's group locally where she can meet other women
and see what is normal? Even better, an LLL group where she can get
ongoing support for breastfeeding, if she decides to go that route.
Norma Ritter, IBCLC, LLLL
private practice in Big Flats, NY
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