Hi all

Jay writes:
>People make their OWN decisions.  Formula is not forced upon them ("feed
>your baby formula or we'll take him away from you"), they make a choice to
>put this stuff in their kids when it is not needed.  (I know, there are
>times when it is needed, and I have no problem with that.  My 2nd son needed
>it for 2 weeks.)  I am frustrated because these people are not making an
>informed choice.  They are blindly following propaganda and advertising, and
>I think that is sad.

I'm not sure I agree with all this, and pardon a little rambling in an
attempt to explain. ;-)

If moms are "blindly following propaganda and advertising," then they really
are NOT making their "own" decisions. And I think that far too many moms
feel like breastfeeding is "forced" on them, rather than formula. Since bf
is NOT the norm (speaking about here in the USA, at least), then NOT to
decide is to choose formula.

And speaking from experience from a few years ago on Prodigy's parenting bb,
if you want to raise the dander of a mom who formula-fed her babies, tell
her she didn't make an "informed choice." That's basically saying that IF
you had known what *I* know, you could not possibly have made that decision
to use formula. And of course that is true--for us, but to these moms it
comes off sounding holier than thou.

I'm equally uncomfortable with the "what a shame" approach. I don't think
that is going to open many doors of communication for many moms. Shame is a
pretty powerful--and negative--word that isn't going to sit well with many
moms--and they may shut us out before they have a chance to learn where the
"shame" really belongs.

Nobody wants to have their parenting style questioned. I've always found it
curious that moms don't get angry as they learn more and more about bf vs.
formula. Any anger they do feel is far more likely to be thrown at the
messenger, rather than the message.

So, where does that leave us? Good question. I think we can be most
effective at getting to these moms BEFORE they have their babies rather than
afterwards. And we need to be working hard to educate the public as a whole
to change the culture. That's easier said than done, obviously.

No easy answers here, eh?

Melissa Vickers, IBCLC
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Huntingdon, Tennessee