Thanks, Magda, for starting this thread now.  Nurturing one's young is so
basic to survival that it's hard to imagine it NOT being a deeply rooted
instinct within us.  Eating is pleasurable, and eating with someone is even
more so, perhaps because our first experience with eating takes place in
physical contact with someone who is meant to love us and put our comfort
and safety foremost.  Our first experiences outside the womb are interwoven
social and nurturing and pleasurable ones, or at least they should be, and
these may well lay the groundwork for our relationships with others
throughout life.

Heather observes that the sadness experienced by mothers whose breastfeeding
relationship is shorter than they would like, or just doesn't work out, is
much deeper and stronger than we would expect at simply not being able to
engage in a so-called health behavior.  Still, when they encounter
difficulties, they do cite a wish to give their baby the best food they can,
as a reason for why they persist through their cracked nipples and marginal
supply.  I love it when they phone or write back months later to say that
their problems finally did resolve, and that every time they sit down to
feed their baby, they are grateful for the help they got to get them through
those early weeks, because now they are reveling in how great it feels.
That's when they've forgotten all about the health effects, and have just
gone into 'mothering at the breast' mode.  I bet that is the most important
health effect of all anyway, that ability to just connect and be there in
close contact with the child, while oxytocin does its work.

I'm trying to recall what colored my attitude to breastfeeding before I had
ever fed a child at my breast.  Besides having been breastfed myself as a
baby, and been raised by a leftist economist who was basically suspicious of
all commercial ventures, I think it was the obvious enjoyment shown by the
breastfeeding women I babysat for as a young teenager.  The maternal and
child nutrition course I took with Dr Bonnie Worthington Roberts at UW in
1979 added some excellent theory, but one lecture I remember very clearly
was by a GP who had a large family and had breastfed all her children.  She
imparted a wealth of knowledge acquired from mothering breastfed children,
but what stays with me was the passion which with she talked about
breastfeeding, like it was something wonderful and actually fun to do with
your child.  She didn't talk about motivating women to breastfeed, she
assumed women would breastfeed.  She just had lots of practical experience
and a good deal of respect for both babies and mothers' milk.  Looking back
on it now, I'm content that in addition to a satisfying social and physical
relationship with my children, and never having to wash a bottle or wipe up
sour-smelling baby puke, I also influenced their lifelong health in a
positive direction, but I liked breastfeeding so much that the health
argument had only marginal impact for me.

Rachel Myr
Kristiansand, Norway
Who misses breastfeeding, and not just 'kinda'

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