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Subject:
From:
jane Ciaramella <[log in to unmask]>
Reply To:
Lactation Information and Discussion <[log in to unmask]>
Date:
Tue, 18 Nov 2008 21:37:57 +0000
Content-Type:
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Oysters probably don't
appreciate the grain of sand that produces the pearl either.


Beautifully said
Jane Ciaramella


----- Original Message -----
From: Rachel Myr
Date: Tuesday, November 18, 2008 9:03 am
Subject: broad brushes and the NICU thread, and a mollusk
To: [log in to unmask]

> First: I work in a tertiary care hospital with a Baby-Friendly
> NICU with
> whom I collaborate daily, to the mutual benefit of infants, families,
> certainly to myself and, I hope, to the NICU staff as well.
> I've watched it
> evolve and improve over nearly 20 years and I know it's
> fabulous. I also am
> regularly frustrated by some of the routine practices in that
> same unit,
> especially around breastfeeding, and by the authoritarian way of
> reacting on
> the part of the hospital as a whole, about when it is, and is
> not, all right
> for parents to be there with their babies or to have opinions
> about the care
> they get. And this is a certified Baby-Friendly NICU in a Baby-
> Friendlyhospital whose staff consists almost exclusively of
> dedicated, competent,
> breastfeeding-savvy people. The thing is, I still see the ways
> in which it
> can become even better.
>
> After following this thread, I'd like to reiterate what Karleen posted
> earlier today. We have different perspectives depending on
> where we are in
> the world, not to mention where we are in the world of
> breastfeeding mothers
> or of the health services. I've read every post Morgan has
> written, and
> have not felt that any broad brushes were used, even though I
> work in a
> similar setting to many of you who have taken offense at what
> she posted.
> It baffles me that it could offend any of us to think that
> parents notice
> the difference between someone who is passionate about their
> work and stands
> up for babies, and someone who is just there because they need
> the job.
>
> Nearly all of you have pointed out that staff who lack
> dedication and
> commitment to excellence don't last long in the NICU setting.
> None of you
> has denied that they sometimes land there before it becomes
> clear that they
> are unsuited to the work. If you are the unfortunate mother
> whose baby was
> cared for by such a person, your experience will be colored by
> it. No matter
> how atypical it is for the unit, it is *your* experience and
> likely your
> *only* one. It may be more difficult to fix on this side of the pond
> because of the general shortage of pediatric intensive care
> nurses and
> because of protective legislation for employees in the public
> sector.
>
> It seems to me that the strength of emotion in the reactions to
> Morgan'sposts is a sign that those who are reacting are probably
> NOT the people she
> meant. Why the vehemence? Why is it so threatening to
> acknowledge that
> some parents have bad experiences because they actually didn't
> get the kind
> of care you and your unit strive to provide? More worrisome to
> me is why it
> is threatening that parents question whether a given
> intervention is truly
> in the child's best interests. If, as I suspect, we feel
> threatened because
> this field is so new that we can't possibly know for sure
> ourselves, my
> conviction is that parents are not only capable of hearing of our
> uncertainty, they APPRECIATE candor and openness from us, when
> it comes in a
> context of true caring. Most of them prefer openness by far to
> the kind of
> pseudo-information we give to people when we just want them to
> consent to
> whatever it is we plan to do to them. Witness the accounts of
> how parents
> feel threatened into going along with things on maternity wards
> and in NICUs
> because they felt their pregnancy or their baby was like a
> hostage, or even
> like a prisoner of war who could be vulnerable to retribution if
> they made
> waves.
>
> Please, if you have hung on this far, look into your heart and
> think about
> what makes you react to Morgan's post. It might be a gift to
> the families
> you serve and to yourself, if you allow yourself to consider the
> perspectiveof the person who isn't thrilled with their care.
> Oysters probably don't
> appreciate the grain of sand that produces the pearl either.
>
> Rachel Myr
> Kristiansand, Norway
>
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