>>She responded that she was not planning on breastfeeding; she also didn't
breastfeed her previous two children.  She then proceeded to tell me in a
sarcastic tone that you probably think that I'm a bad mother because she
wasn't going to breastfeed.<<

Angela,
These kinds of responses can catch us off-guard. What I've found to be
effective is to say something along the lines of, "Wow, it sounds like
you've felt judged by other people; I'm sorry to hear that. Tell me about
your decision not to breastfeed........."

Mothers fear judgment, and in that frame of mind, there is no information we
can provide that is going to change anything because they are closed up.
What they need to know is that we accept them where they are at and we care
about their feelings and experiences. A little empathy can go a long way,
and active listening can open the doors to finding out where the road blocks
are. It takes practice to learn to really listen to a mother, but this is
the only way I know of to earn her trust and get an open door to address
attitudes, myths, past abuse and other issues.

Lisa Marasco IBCLC

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