4/9/97

Oprah Winfrey
Harpo Productions
P.O. Box 909715
Chicago, IL  60690

Dear Ms. Winfrey and others:

I was anxious to see your 4/2/97 show entitled "Should your child still
be doing that?" and was happy to see the subject matter handled calmly
and the guests treated with respect.  So many times I have seen
discussions of this sort deteriorate into hysteria.

I was very glad to hear the physicians emphasize that each parent should
get to know their child as an individual and find out what works best for
the child and the family.  The information about when children complete
toilet learning and begin to sleep through the night was more realistic
than I've seen in other media.

It was delightful to hear the "experts" endorse co-sleeping and let
families know that this practice is fairly common.   For families wanting
to encourage independent sleep, several options for gently "weaning"
children from the family bed could have been shared.  Laying with the
child in his bed first or putting a cot or sleeping bag on the floor in
the parent's room are often effective transitional steps.

The doctors were right on the money, as well, when they stated that
breastfeeding past the "usual" age for our culture is normal, although
uncommon.  Anthropologists have found that natural weaning actually
occurs somewhere between ages 2.5 and 7.  Unfortunately in North America,
breastfeeding and natural weaning are seen by many as aberrant practices,
when in reality artificial (formula/bottle) feeding is the aberration.

I wanted to point out that the 3 year old who nursed 12 times per day was
a normal but not a typical 3 year old nursling.  It would have been
helpful to explain that nursing patterns vary widely, and that many 3
year olds nurse only once a day or even once a week.

Taking care of a "high need" child can be very demanding, especially with
other children in the household.  Since this mother seemed so
exasperated,  I understood the recommendation to wean abruptly, but I do
not agree with it.  The clingy behavior and demands for attention may
actually increase if this is tried.  Most mothers gradually decrease the
frequency and length of nursings instead.  More gentle ways of weaning -
while still meeting the child's need - could have been suggested.  I
would recommend firmly, but lovingly, setting some limits for the child -
such as no nursing in the car and staying in the carseat (give the child
a sippy cup or snack instead).    This mother could try a carrier or
backpack to keep the child close, as well as trying to set aside a
special time each day to give the child her undivided attention.

Sincerely,
Laurie Wheeler, RNC, MN, IBCLC
Louisiana Breastfeeding MediaWatch Coordinator