This subject is very familiar to me, like to most of us, I guess. I never
know whether to call a mom as followup - will she be thankfull, because she
was too shy to call again, or will she be resentfull, because I'm
pressuring her. This is especially true in the more difficult situations,
when we have already talked a few times - on the one hand the mother needs
more support, but on the other hand she might be ready to give up, and my
call about "how is it going" might make her uneasy.

 Sometimes when I don't call, and then later hear that things didn't work
out, I feel that I haven't tried enough, and other times when I do call
again and again I feel the mother is really happy about this, because she
was ashamed to call again herself about the same problem. Still other times
I feel mothers are trying to evade me, and that I'm making them
uncomfortable by my calls.

I'm sure that I'm a bf zealot to some, but I hope that I can help many
others. If there were only a way to know who really wants our help...

Mira Leibovich, MD
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