"On one hand it does show the tenacity of working women who long to give
their babies their own breast milk.... And on the other hand it sure makes
it seem like a lot of effort."

As someone who's been there, done that (twice), I can attest to the fact
that it IS a lot of effort.  Especially in a work environment that may not
be the most supportive -- I loathe pumping, because I'd rather be with my
baby.  I can't even look at bottles without feeling sick to my stomach.
Rushing around, barely making it home and back some days in time, feeling
and experiencing the resentment of my co-workers who made different choices,
hating that my husband is also a musician and can't make enough to support
us both (sometimes, to my horror, finding myself hating HIM for this reason
despite his incredible support), living with a reverse-cycling baby who
won't go more than 2 hours between feedings at night until 18 months old,
feeling so tired it hurts, and the self-hatred I feel whenever one of my
kids has a behavioral "glitch" that I'm certain would have been avoided had
I stayed home with them!  Oh yes, it IS a lot of effort!

Honestly, though, I don't think that the alternative (not breastfeeding but
separating) is much easier emotionally, assuming a mother is attached to her
baby (which is harder when not breastfeeding or pumping, but certainly not
impossible).  I've read "Milk Memos" and really, it's not about the pumping
or the breastmilk, it's about the awesome loss a mother feels when she has
to leave her baby before either is ready (whether by choice or by necessity,
I think it's hard on all mothers), and the struggle to find her place again
amongst the ranks of the working -- other mothers judge her for not being
home with her baby, other workers are looking for ways to shoot holes in her
work ethic because she's a mom now, too.

One way I described it once was this:  even when I felt like I was giving my
job only 75% and my baby was only getting 75%...that still added up to 150%,
which was more than my physical, mental, and emotional health could sustain
for very long.  And as a 100% kind of person, that 75% never felt good, on
either side...so I was always striving to do more in both places.

While I will always be a fierce advocate for human milk for human
babies...if I can discourage a mother from going back to work, I'll do it in
a heartbeat.  I have a relatively easy (logistics), flexible situation and a
supportive partner, and it's still absolutely the most difficult thing I've
ever done, in every way.

--Diana in NY

             ***********************************************

Archives: http://community.lsoft.com/archives/LACTNET.html
To reach list owners: [log in to unmask]
Mail all list management commands to: [log in to unmask]
COMMANDS:
1. To temporarily stop your subscription write in the body of an email: set lactnet nomail
2. To start it again: set lactnet mail
3. To unsubscribe: unsubscribe lactnet
4. To get a comprehensive list of rules and directions: get lactnet welcome