Diana in NY wrote:
One way I described it once was this: even when I felt like I was giving my
job only 75% and my baby was only getting 75%...that still added up to 150%,
which was more than my physical, mental, and emotional health could sustain
for very long. And as a 100% kind of person, that 75% never felt good, on
either side...so I was always striving to do more in both places.
While I will always be a fierce advocate for human milk for human
babies...if I can discourage a mother from going back to work, I'll do it in
a heartbeat. I have a relatively easy (logistics), flexible situation and a
supportive partner, and it's still absolutely the most difficult thing I've
ever done, in every way.
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And Lisa Kopecky talked about employed moms needing support for their decision.
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I've been lurking for a few weeks and thoroughly enjoying the
information and thoughtful discussions on LN. I just had to jump in
here, as I've BTDT too! I think Diana spoke very clearly to the
issues that employed breastfeeding moms deal with (every mom is a
working mom!)
I worked full-time and pumped milk for my daughter. Leaving her every
day was like tearing my heart out. By the time she was 6 months old I
was miserable. It took us another 2 years of working and saving and
downsizing our house until we were in a position for me to stay home
with her, and now her brother.
As an LLL Leader, I find it interesting to encourage breastfeeding in
a variety of situations, but ultimately it's all about the
breastfeeding and mothering at the breast. Like Diana, I always
encourage moms to find ways to stay with their babies for as long as
possible-- either staying home or taking extended maternity leave. On
the other hand, I encourage moms who have to or believe they have to
work, to continue breastfeeding, because that is priceless for
remaining connected with the baby. I believe that if we can keep mom
and baby together and nursing long enough, it gives the baby time to
work his/her magic on mom and she'll be more inclined to follow her
heart and the needs of her baby (or future babies). I believe
ongoing support is crucial for employed moms who are breastfeeding.
It can be hard to get them to come to meetings, though, because they
are already exhausted. I remember thinking some days that I would
just skip the monthly evening LLL meeting (which was a 40 minute
drive, one way), because I was just too tired. I was always glad
afterward that I went because it was so invigorating and empowering. I
had no support at work for pumping-- it happened because I insisted on
it. It's hard work just advocating for yourself all day every day, on
top of the other three full-time jobs working moms have (work, baby,
and being wife/homemaker).
This actually brings up a question I have-- I'd love to brainstorm
some ways to meet the ongoing needs of employed breastfeeding moms. I
think meeting with other moms who are in a similar situation is ideal;
the trick is to get them together consistently. I lead the only
evening meeting in my county specifically so employed moms can come,
but attendance by them is sporadic. I believe they think they just
don't have time and energy for it. Maybe weekend meetings would work.
Has anyone had experience with this? What other ways can we support
a breastfeeding relationship in employed moms?
I'll stop now before I ramble more...
Dawn Burke, LLLL
Georgia, USA
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