Jeanette HAD to comment on THIS statement by Lara Hopkins:

"This comment came as rather a shock to me. Why would you think that not
having had a formal wedding ceremony means that their relationship is more
likely to be tenuous and manipulative?

I think it's important to not bring this sort of prejudice into a
consultation. Even if it is not explicitly stated, women will detect it."

Obviously Lara has no knowledge of me or what I do, so I want to make it
clear to her and other Lactnet "newbies" - I am a PUERTORICAN PUBLIC HEALTH
NURSE who has spend most of my life working with low-income women whose
lives are precarious - and who tell ME what THEY think!  

Contrary to mothers who choose to be single mothers or who have dedicated
relationships by choice - with either their baby's father or another woman -
the moms I visit feel very vulnerable and fear being abandoned by their
partner - and want to make SURE he "Gets to know and love" his baby so he'll
stick around - or at least provide financial assistance if he moves on...

I hope the idea that I am prejudiced AGAINST my moms and offer anything but
support and understanding is cleared up!

Jeanette Panchula
Pretty testy right now as I've been up since 3:00 am working on my next
presentation to the local Public Health Department and their collaborators -
non-profits full of wonderful people who dedicate themselves to help
low-income moms, but who need to learn more about helping them
breastfeed...INCLUDING avoiding judgmental statements about the lives the
moms they visit lead!  (Three-step counseling is always part of our
talks...)

California, USA

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