our family has recently accomplished this.  noah is 27 months old.
admittedly we started this at the beginning of the summer to make it
more gradual but i think it could be accomplished in a respectful way
for the toddler.  noah was also an every 2-3 hour night nurser when we
started and we family bedded.

we nursed to sleep.  when noah woke before 3-4 hours passed we (mostly
dad) parented noah back to sleep with talking, back rubs, walking,
offers of a drink of water, etc.  when noah woke after 3-4 hours we
nursed.  basically we skipped the first wake-up-at-night nursing.  we
also made sure noah got a good before bed snack and a drink of water.
after a while we moved noah's twin sized futon into our room to the
floor next to our bed.  he nursed to sleep there.  when he wakes up he
has the option of crawling into our bed or a parent (usually mommy is
asked for) gets into bed with him.  we rub his back or hold him (laying
down) until he falls asleep.

all this time we have moved toward and are currently saying *nursing has
gone night-night* and *we'll nurse when the sun comes up*.  we used to
say *nursing when it is light out* but noah insisted daddy turn on the
light after the 3rd night of no nursing.  :-)  when the alarm rings for
daddy (5:30 am) noah gets to nurse.  yesterday noah blurted out *daddy
get out.  go away.*  both parents roused from our sleep to soothe noah
but the alarm started to ring.  daddy DID need to get up and go away!
last night noah nursed then lay down on his bed with daddy.  they
recited the thomas the tank engine names a few times and noah was out
cold.

dropping the first nursing took about a week.  after we dropped the
first nightly nursing the rest of noah's night time nursings grew
farther apart about every 4 hours.  dropping what became the remaining
night time nursing took about a week before there were no more tears or
whines.

my guess is a two year old can do this in 2-3 weeks if pushed.  both
parents need to be involved and as loving and gentle as possible.  i
know it can be aggravating and trying.  there were nights that it was
terrific and then the next night would be very difficult - sort of one
step forward and two steps back.  the first 2-3 nights were the worst
and we questioned whether we should pursue it.  SO glad we did.  all of
us are resting better - i think.

please share with the mother looking for info ore resources.  i'd be
happy to email with her if she wants to.
--
Monique
Noah Schaefers 6/97
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