Jay
Your frustration over interacting with "Elaine" came through loud and clear.
How stressful this all sounds for you!  IMO, those who know the LEAST often
act as if they know the MOST, and are closed off to learning from others
because they already KNOW everything.
You say >>She makes excuses., then gets upset that her training is going
slow<< This sounds like she is unwilling or unable to take responsibility for
her training.   Sounds like she's conflicted.  I question whether she'll be
able to HEAR or ASSESS the real underlying problems when symptoms are reported
to her by BFing moms....since it sounds like she'd be likely to jump in with a
quick-fix bandaid solution to a problem which may or may not exist, rather
than taking time to fully discover what's going on.  If she can't hear you,
how is she going to be able to hear BF moms?
You say >>No matter what I tell her, she knows more.  No matter what I
describe to her, she knows how to fix it, even if she is dead wrong<<  This
know-it-all mask that she wears suggest that perhaps she is trying to PROVE to
herself or you how much she knows due to her own insecurities.  If she really
knew what she knew, she wouldn't have to prove it.  That's in such sharp
contrast to this wonderful climate on Lactnet where so many extremely
knowledgeable people are capable of openly and honestly admitting that what
they KNOW is that they DON'T KNOW it all and are asking for help!
You continue >>calls me to tell me all the probs she is having with the other
PCs making their calls on time, and when I give her suggestions to get them to
improve, she tells me that "You just don't understand, Jay.  They have busy
lives, and responsibilities.  They can't possibly be expected to do what you
want them to<<  Does she have the clarity to see the whole picture, and do her
job ?  Sounds like she's trying to make excuses for them, just as she offers
her own excuses for why she can't do the extra training sessions.  So, is she
really capable of overseeing others?
>>But with her attitude, that goes from being nice and cooperative to way too
competetive and borderline beligerent, I am at a loss.<<  Listen to your
heart, Jay.  What I'm hearing is that you're at your >>wits end<< because you
are very close to the situation and because you did start off as friends
first.  If you'd never had a personal friendship with her, how would you
respond now?  Would you be able to step back and see more clearly that there
is something else going on here?   More objectively? My experience with
teaching others is that the "dream student/client" is one who is eager to
learn and eagerly asks questions and seeks out information.  She does not
sound like she falls into that category.
I suggest sitting down with your supervisor, sharing your concerns about
"Elaine's" ability to function in the job description.  Maybe then all three
of you sitting down together to assess how her training process is going,
honestly share your concerns as objectively as you can, giving her a time
period in which to demonstrate some specific measurable changes, then another
more formal evaluation scheduled to determine if she's met the criteria or
not.  By then what to do may seem much clearer.
Keep us posted!
Joyce Blangiardo RN, FACCE, IBCLC, who just took a break from the TV coverage
of the TWA tragedy about an hour and a half drive from where we live....filled
with sadness for all the families.